rants | stnar

dislikes about me part 2

so awhile back i made a rant about things i don't like about myself; quite the humbling experience i must say. but, that one was kind of funny because i didn't really cover important things i guess.

so here is part two. so now you can read this from a more mature me.

(also i am going to try to not go off on a tangent this time)

number one; i am flipping annoying

so i have realized that i can have the tendency to be the most annoying person you will ever meet. not that i try to be, i just am. i blurt stuff out a lot and talk a lot and i don't know why to be honest.

i have been trying to stop and i think i am getting a bit better about it, but i'm still an obnoxious piece of crap, okay.

(and don't even get me started on how needlessly random i am)

number two; insecure

so i kind of covered this in the last rant but i didn't take it that seriously. but i am extremely insecure. like i always feel like things are my fault even if i know they aren't. again, i wish i wasn't like that, i just am.

also i always feel like extremely self-conscious around people i don't usually talk to because (refer to number one) i can be annoying as heck.

i wrote a poem about nightmares awhile ago and i was going to post it on instagram today, but i was too scared to actually do it, because i don't want people to judge me.

number three; never good enough

i think all of these kind of transition into each other and it makes sense. (and also keeps me on topic because we all know i suck at that. i will probably make a rant about that sooner or later because it will go on too long to be in this list. (see im doing it right now.))

but i constantly feel like i'm not good enough, regardless of what it is.

not smart enough.

not good enough at writing, drawing, singing, gaming, anything. there is always someone better.

number four; random

yes, i have gotten started.

so again, this may relate to the previous one, we will see.

but i am very random, like i don't say everything random but it's there (as you could probably tell from my past rants.)

i was thinking about this and maybe my randomness stems from me thinking i'm not good enough. like i sub-conciously think i have to be random to achieve making people laugh.

i really don't know, maybe i am just super creative and i am overthinking this. (oh overthinking. thats five but im not going to write about it because it is self-explanatory.

well, that is it for this rant. i hope you can maybe relate to any of these so i know i'm not the only one. part 3?

eventually.

bye.