Missing gaps

Disappointment

Warning! This chapter is kind of depressing. So stop right there if you take things to real.

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"What are you doing?"

"The right thing."

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Do you ever feel lost? Like you don't exactly know what you're doing?

You just lay on your bed and think how life is. How life's treating you. It wasn't on purpose but you just start thinking negative stuff and question yourself "Am I doing the right thing?"

You start thinking about the people who did you wrong and begin bad mouthing them. Then think about your siblings and remember all the fights you had. And lastly your parents. 

"Am I a disappointment... to them... to them all ?"

If they're so disappointed, ashamed, why are they even to begin with me?

You hate making people, loved ones, disappointed. So do what you think what's right. Make them free. Free from you. 

You don't want to but whispers are coming from nowhere and do it. Just for them. 

"You're worthless."

"Irrelevant." 

"Unwanted."

and worst of all

"A disappointment."

You want to make them happy.

So you do it.

You end it.

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Don't look back and wonder why things went wrong. Don't regret not going more. It happened for a reason. Your better days are ahead of you.

Just so you know, you should never feel that way. Sure you think you can't do it anymore and wany it to stop. Then stop it not through selfharm or whatever. No. Do it by taking. It doesn't matter what kind of talking I mean like to other people friends, family...

Think, if you think they don't need you, why are they still there? With you? 'Cuz whatever you did/do they'll always want you to be there for them.

People are selfish. Everyone is. Everybody  want something and if they don't have it they're sometimes okay with it or do something to get it. Good or bad, everyone's going to do it.

You're not the only one.

You'll never be alone.

You're wanted. You were created to live.

(Just a bad day...)

Maybe. Maybe not.
-noticegurl