Shhhh....

Chapter Ten- Interesting

Chapter Ten

Interesting

                         I stare at the figure in front of me, not saying anything. I had gotten my hopes up too high, leaving my heart laying by my ankles. I struggled not to roll my eyes, or show any sign of my anger. I took a deep breath before speaking, making sure I didn't do anything that I'd regret.

"What do you want?"

"You want to hang out?"

I rake the excess strands of hair that covered my eyes as I think.

"What would we do?"

"We could chill."

                     I was surprised that Ricky had taken the opportunity to knock on my door to ask if I was available to hang out with. He seemed so dark and mysterious, the kind of person that would shut himself out from the world. I could see, however, he was much different. Or at least, I thought he was.

"All right," I finally agreed to his offer.

                     When I had gotten inside his home, it felt familiar. Nothing had changed in great detail, but the placement of the family's furniture was now more in tact with the home. The boxes had disappeared, and the stuff inside them was placed in the catalog ways, just as well as Ricky's had been set up the whole time. My routine the second time around didn't change; I took another look around, and sat down on his bed, once again as to not soil his bedding technique.

"Why'd you want me over?" I asked as I twiddled my thumbs, unsure if this was the right time to make eye contact.

                        Ricky sighed, pulling up the sleeve to another one of his long-sleeved shirts. It was a grey one today, from one of those preppy stores that all of the guys and girls from my grade wore. I was familiar with that moose stitched onto his sleeve from my sister's clothing. Once he pulled up his sleeve, I familiarized myself with those marks that resembled extremely long cat scratches, some darker than others.

"You don't cut, right?" Ricky almost looked innocent as he said this.

"Well, no, I, uh, don't." I was unsure of where this was going.

"Have you ever cut?" He asks.

"No," I replied, "I haven't."

                   Ricky nods, biting his lip. I couldn't quite read his facial expression. His eyebrows, quite normal-looking for a male our age, quivered slightly, as if he was nervous. As he took his teeth off from his lip, some flesh coming off with it. Blood trickled down quickly, as the damaged skin was hurting. He did nothing but lick the blood of his lips, his body cringing at the taste that I had once had. His incedent had brought back a memory of my own, one that was terrible to remember right here, right now.

                  It was a cold winter night. Just a few years ago, when Paige and I had gotten more serious about our relationship. We were sitting by the fire, my body numb from going out into the snow in nothing but my swim trunks. I had an amazing time that day; the way my arms and legs collected all the snow as they tractored through while I was making my perfect snow angel. Paige was in her brown, furry coat, along with her jeans and boots that she had bought with me when we went shopping together from the night before. There she was, laughing, snapping photos of me, her eyes twinkling of enjoyment. Watching her being happy, almost made me forget about all the cold of the snow. I didn't stop at the snow angels though. I got a water bottle, filling it with water and green food coloring. In the snow, I squirted out her name, making sure that it stood out for all to see. I drew hearts as well, maybe not as good as she could have, but I made the biggest effort, just to see that cute smile appear on her face.

"Josh! Come inside! You'll get sick!" Paige finally called out when I had squirted the last of the colorful water out onto the snow.

She was right; I was freezing, but I knew I shouldn't complain. I kept quiet, and I smiled, going inside the house with her.

               Inside the house that night, was a night that I could never forget. The heat from the house warmed every part of my body that wasn't numb, helping me thaw out. In plaid sweatpants and long sleeves, Paige and I also had steaming hot cocoa in our hands, as Paige herself was having an aftershock from the bitter weather, too. The fire to the side was crackling, my ears warming up just hearing the simple sound of the crackle, the tiny picture of all the chimneys I've driven by, the gray smoke just puffing out of the brick, made me feel even warmer. I reached for Paige's arm, pulling her forward onto my body. I felt her hand that I'd gotten ahold of, and it was cold, almost lifeless. I had by then returned to my normal body temperature. I decided to share my heat with her. I pressed my palm tightly into hers, making sure the heat traveled into her skin. She looked up at me, her cheeks as red as a bright rose, and smiled. Although I couldn't decide whether it was her blushing, or she was simply cold. I slid my hand to the side of her neck and left it there. I wasn't sure what I was doing next, but my heart strangely did. 

               I took my thumb, brushing the stray hair away from her face, and tucked it to her ear. Then, silently, I leaned in, putting my cold lips against her warm ones. It was one of those kisses that you'd die to get, the ones where the movies play romantic, slow music over. Not only was it my best and favorite kiss, it was also my first. I remember it all, all of the mom-

"Hey, you alright?"

I was thrown out of my flashback to look at Ricky. He looked confused, raising one eyebrow, simply starting at me, as if I had offered to make him a batch of cookies.

"Ah, yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that." I put my hand on the back of my neck, embarrassed.

        The blood that had dripped remained a stain on his hand, as his lip sits there, now damaged. I had wanted to do something about it, but I didn't want him to get the wrong idea of me before I left his home. So, I just sat there. A deep silence spread over us. I had wanted to know why he asked me the question of why he had asked me if I shared his hobby. Could he have wanted to cut with me? To make plans?

"So, what do you do besides... yeah?" I didn't want to say the C words. Cut. Cutting. Cutter.

"That's not your business." Ricky suddenly became defensive in his words.

"Jeez, sorry, man. Didn't mean to get you pissed." 

 "It's fine. Got a girl?"

"I think so," I said.

Ricky was instantly puzzled. "You think?"

"Yeah, I think." I stood up off his bed, sitting on the ground, next to him. Not too close, of course.

"What do you mean, you think?"

I raked my hand through my hair. I didn't think I'd have to explain.

"I just don't."

"Oh," he says, "I see."

I just nodded, pretending that he truly did.

                         Walking home from school, I inhaled the brisk air that made my nose and cheeks turn a crimson color by the time I get home. I had started to walk home with Ricky on occasion, but I didn't realize that he had band practice today, so instead, I walked home alone. I decided Paige was living just fine without me for right now, although I was surprised. I had never expected this to go on for this amount of time. Just then, though, I get a phone call. I decide to let it go to voice mail until I got home.

                When I finally set my books down from school, I pulled out my phone to check the newest updates. Four texts from my mother, two from my sister, and one from Ricky, most likely asking if I had wanted to chill again sometime soon. Lastly, the voicemail was there. I pressed it up against my ear to listen what the person what saying. 

 "Josh? This is Officer Shirley. I may have some information on your girlfriend, Paige."