lost in paradise

Children's Monologue

I have always been good at hide and seek. I would always play with my mom and dad since I didn’t have any brothers or sisters. Usually, my mom counted. She would count to 30 while me and my dad hide. I always stole the good hiding spots that he could never be able to fit in because he wasn’t small like me. That’s why I am good at hide and seek. I can fit into small place that no one would ever look because it would be impossible for someone to be there. I am in one of those places now. I have been hiding from my aunt for at least 10 minutes, but I’m no good with time. I don’t think that she will ever be able to find me in the laundry hamper. My hair is covering my face and my arms around my legs. My eyes are closed since it is dark inn here anyways. Also, it helps me picture the way my life was before the accident. I can clearly imagine my mom searching the house, calling my name as I stay quiet and hidden out of sight. The way she looked when she found me; so proud and happy. The way my dad looked when I would find him in a horrible hiding place. The laughs we would share when we would move onto a bored game. Those images turned into images of them lying in the hospital beds, hooked up to so many big machines. I would talk to them, but they wouldn’t answer. I was never allowed in the room very much. My aunt would take me out for lunch, but I was never hungry. I just wanted my mom and dad to be okay. They weren’t okay. They were never okay after that and neither was I. I had lost my parents, both of the, in the same day. Everyone else has a mom or a dad or both, and I have my aunt Glenda. I love her, but she can’t replace my mom. She tells me to find friends at school, but I can’t. My parents were my friends and they won’t be replace. I just think Aunt Glenda doesn’t want me here because she doesn’t really like kids. I don’t want to be here either. I just want my parents back and if I have friends, I’ll have to see their parents and all I want are my own. Aunt Glenda tells me that they are happy and in a better place. I don’t know what could be better than being at our house together. I will always remember them and I never ever want to forget them. We were always so happy together, but now we aren’t together so I can’t be happy. I hate when people try and make me let them go because I can’t. They were my mom and dad and I won’t let them go; I can’t. If I let them go it’s like I’m forgetting all about them and I don’t want to forget about them. I don’t want to replace them. If I don’t let go, I don’t have to move on and I don’t have to replace them. I made a promise to myself that no matter what, we will always be a family. If I let aunt Glenda be my new mom, I’m not family with my parents anymore. My mom once told me that no matter where she is, she is with me. I want to keep her with me all the time, but it’s so hard. I laugh or have a good time with Aunt Glenda and I can feel them slipping away; I can’t let them slip away. Aunt Glenda told me that they will always be in my heart, but I don’t know if that’s enough. I want it to be enough. I want to be happy. I want to make them proud. I don’t know how to do any of that! I shook when Aunt Glenda opened the hamper. I was so embarrassed because there were tears running down my face. She took me in her arms, like my mother used to. It will take a lot of time, but maybe, just maybe keeping them in my heart will be enough.