Still Believe In Magic? (A Buckin Fanfic)

Chapter 22 - Trouble That Can't Be Named

3 Days later

Chris' POV

I looked at the information display in the airplane. It had to land in London very soon.

I was tired but really happy. Finally everything seemed to go great. I would finally see Jonny again in just a few minutes. My longing for his body close to me had become so intense, I couldn't contain my excitement to see him again.

And apart from that I hadn't yet told anyone about the awesome news. I was convinced that our album would be great now and I was so thrilled to work with Avicii. I couldn't believe he had actually told me he thought A Sky Full Of Stars was great and he'd love to work on it. It was so unreal, almost like when we got to work with Rihanna on Princess Of China, and I couldn't wait to share my excitement with someone.

Especially with that green-eyed person Ioved most in the world.

I had the picture of his flawless face in my mind and couldn't help smiling. I thought of that line I had written way back.

You know that darkness always turns into light

I had always strongly wanted to believe in it but at times I couldn't. But now it actually was finally coming true for me.

Not even half an hour later I finally stepped out of the plane, my anticipation was rising to the unbearable.

I soon spotted Jonny sitting on one of the seats in the airport hall. I had to try hard to not actually start running like a little kid. I realized he had his head held low and looked quite tired. Obviously he didn't notice me as he had his back turned to me so I decided to surprise him.

I got closer as quietly as possible and put one hand on his shoulder, with the other one I pulled  his hat off from his head.
I admit, that was kind of mean. I knew he didn't like that, especially in public. But I couldn't help it.

My sudden touch out of no where made him start and throw his head around with fright.
I could feel his muscles relax as he recognized me.

"Chris! Gosh, my heart almost stopped! Never scare me like that again!"

I couldn't help but grin at him being so upset.

"Oh come on. It wasn't that bad was it?"

How I had missed our childish games.

By now Jonny had gotten up from his seat and I reached out to hug him.

Had his body always felt so perfect?

Definitely more now that I knew what it was like to be apart from him.

Jonny didn't say anything, I supposed he was as overwhelmed as me to finally see each other again.
I knew at some point this would have to happen again, but I just hoped the first time would be the hardest.

Eventually I let go of my comforting grip around Jonny's body.

For the first time after arriving I properly scanned his face.
But something... something seemed a bit different from what it used be.

I at first thought it was just the bags underneath his eyes from not sleeping so much, but something just seemed different. His beautiful eyes didn't glow the way I was used to it.
They looked a bit red, almost like he had been crying.

Maybe I was being paranoid but I just had the strong feeling that there was something wrong.

The fact that Jonny hadn't said much more than a few words yet didn't exactly make me less worried.

"Everything alright Jonny Boy?"

I looked deep into his eyes but he averted his as our gazes hit.

"Yeah, don't worry I'm fine."

Jonny smiled but it was clearly just pretended.

"I'm just a bit tired, I didn't sleep so well."

I couldn't believe that was all behind it. Why would Jonny still feel bad? I was finally back and I had been so looking forward to it. I thought he'd be the same, embracing me happily once I arrived. I didn't know what I should do to make him feel better, or what I had done wrong.

But I decided to let it go for now, the airport for sure was not the right place to solve this problem.

"Why don't we get home first? Then we can talk about everything."

Jonny just nodded in agreement.

We didn't talk much during the car ride. I considered telling him about the collab I had planned during my absence but I figured it might be better to bring it up in front of the whole band. Jonny didn't exactly seem to be in the mood to share my excitement.

I had a big lump in my throat. What had I done wrong? Or maybe I was just worrying too much and Jonny really was just tired.

Once we arrived home my green-eyed boyfriend ensured me once again everything was perfectly fine so I decided to let it go for today. For an awful over-thinker like me that could be a hard thing to do though.

Just on the airplane I had fantasized about the kind of welcome Jay could give me. Everything had seemed so perfect and happy back then, how could it change so fast?

 I was way too desperate and yearning for his body. 

Now that Jonny didn't seem to feel the same I felt like such an obsessed twat. I couldn't even bear a few days without him, what had I become?? Jonny probably had even been happy to get rid of me for a few days. 

And here I was again, worried about something that probably wasn't even real instead of enjoying that I was back home with Jonny again. Why did things always have to be so complicated? I was so good at turning good days into bad ones just because of one tiny thing.

I looked over to Jonny who had sat down next to me while I had been enjoying my cup of tea. I had to cringe at the sight, obviously he had really been tired. His beautiful head had fallen to the side and was now leaning against our sofa. He had his mouth half opened and his chest was slowly falling and rising. How did he manage to look so adorable even while sleeping? 

I would have given anything to have shared a passionate kiss with those lips today. But I knew best to not push Jonny too much. 

I suddenly realized the pounding headache in my head. How long had it been since I had last slept? I had no idea, the jet lag had made me loose count of everything.

I swallowed some painkillers and decided I should at least try to sleep as well. 

Before walking into my bedroom I gently pulled a blanket over Jonny's body, kissed him on his cheek and whispered 'I love you'. My mind added an unspoken 'Please tell me everything's okay' that I somehow didn't manage to say out loud.

I just wanted tomorrow to be better.