After Chris' famous "conscious uncoupling" from Gwyneth he is an emotional mess. But not for the reason everyone thinks. Chris will never tell anyone the true reason for his split from his wife though, he could never do that.
The only thing that giv...
I waved my hand at the crowd that went crazy as soon as they saw us up on stage.
A few girls yelled "I LOVE YOU!!!" and I smiled.
Jonny had already started to play his opening riff for Always In My Head and I closed my eyes and got ready to sing my first line, knowing by heart when it was my time to start.
Before I knew it we jumped into our second song. I started to get more relaxed and being here on stage doing what I loved most gradually started to feel the way it was supposed to feel after quite a long break: awesome.
Before I started the next song I looked over to Jonny and he gave me a thumbs up and mouthed "You're doing great."
I smiled at my boyfriend, careful to not make it too obvious, and let my gaze wander over to my other bandmates. Both Will and Guy gave me reassuring smiles, giving me another boost of confidence.
It really didn't feel like more than a few minutes until we finished our set with the usual bows, millions of pieces of confetti slowly raining down at us and the over-enthusiastic cheering of the crowd in our ears.
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I could feel tears forming in my eyes because I was so overwhelmed. I didn't know what I really expected to happen but I clearly didn't think it would feel that great. We had to be the luckiest band in the world. Though certain songs had felt painful to play due to the memories connected with them at the same time it made me feel grateful for all the great things that had happened since then and that I was so lucky to have music as a way to deal with it all.
Maybe it was just imagination but somehow I could tell all those faces out there in the crowd understood. They didn't stop liking us because we had chosen to move away from huge stadium-anthems for an album. Music was where I could be who I really was without hiding. Just like with Jonny. And all my bandmates really, they were my best friends and always would be.
But right now wasn't the moment to get too emotional. People were rushing around us as we made our way down from the stage. After a few seconds of being lost in the moment I took it all in again. Which also meant, my usual post-concert excitement starting to come through. I jumped around a bit and the four of us pulled each other into a group hug.
Walking towards the tour busses I suddenly felt a hand on my shoulder.
"Seems like you enjoyed it?"
Jonny broadly grinned at me.
"Enjoy is an understatement!", I shouted out not even trying to hide my enthusiasm.
"I'm so happy for you Chris. More than you could ever imagine. I knew you could do it. Sometimes we just have to face our fears, cause deep down we're stronger than them. Sometimes we just take a bit to find the strength to fight what is holding us back."
I smiled, tears starting to fill my eyes once again.
"You're so wise Jay. Thank you so much. For everything. Everything you give to me."
Jonny blushed, he never expected to be complimented though he was obviously gorgeous.
"I love you.", my boyfriend whispered.
"I love you too."
We still had a few minutes left before we had to leave. Jonny and me sneaked outside. The night air was freezing and it had started to rain a bit but I couldn't care less. I pulled Jonny closer to me and rested my head in that space on his shoulder that felt like it had been formed exactly for me. You know these moments were everything just feels so perfect it's surreal? When you don't have a single worry in the world because, just for this moment, you're exactly where you're supposed to be and it couldn't feel more right?
Well, this was one of these moments. Time stopped ticking and the world stopped turning. No cheering crowd just a few hundred meters away from us, no tour crew probably wondering where we were. Just Jonny. And me. And I knew that was all I'd ever need. Even more than music. Just Jonny. He made me see the good in the world and myself. He was who made me believe in magic, just at the point I had stopped believing. He was my little bit of magic. If it wasn't for him I probably wouldn't be here. He wasn't my missing piece. We had always been just one piece. It had just taken us a little time to realize that. But I could tell from now on we would just be one. Forever and always.
THE END
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