Still Believe In Magic? (A Buckin Fanfic)

Chapter 16 - Everybody Here's Got Somebody To Lean On

Chris' POV

I turned around in the warm and cozy bed. After slowly opening my eyelids and blinking my eyes a little I noticed the sun shining through the half closed curtains. It must have been pretty late already.
But wait? I looked around small room. Why was I in Jonny's guest room? And where was Jonny?

Suddenly the events of the last day started to come back to me. Our discussion about the tour at The Bakery. Me staying long and failing to make that song the way it should.
I started to feel sick when the flashback in my mind came to the part where I had arrived at Jonny's flat, annoyed and depressed at everything that had happened.

Fuck. What the hell had I done? Jonny was always there for me trying to make me feel better.
And I had just shouted at him for no reason at all. I couldn't recall the exact words but I knew for sure what I had said to Jonny hadn't been nice. Why did I have to be like this?? I wouldn't be surprised if Jonny had changed his mind about wanting to be with me. Why did I keep fucking up everybody's lifes? First my wife and children, my best friends and I even managed to hurt Jonny, who I loved the most in this world, by being the asshole I am.

Maybe I couldn't change the things I had done or completely fix it, but I at least had to try to tell Jonny I was sorry. And give him the chance to leave me before I could hurt and tear him down even more. I sat up and listened around for a few seconds. Apart from a few birds chirping and cars driving by outside complete silence. I wondered if Jonny was still asleep, but usually he got up a lot earlier than me.

I quickly slipped on my trousers and a old shirt and walked out of the room. Expecting to find Jonny in the kitchen making breakfast I made up an apology on my way. But my expectations were disappointed as soon as I stepped into the bright room. I walked further into the living room and then knocked on Jonny's bedroom. Nothing. He was nowhere to be found. Where the hell could he have gone? I knew for sure he couldn't have gone running or something, morning workouts were the last thing you could find Jonny doing.

But where else could he be? It was to early for him to be at The Bakery already, wasn't it?

I tried to calm myself down. Maybe he had just gone for a walk and would be back soon.

But I couldn't take another minute of not being able to tell Jonny how sorry I was for my behavior of the night before. I felt like every second was making things even worse.

I tried to be patient but a few minutes later I decided to call him.
I let it ring a few times but Jonny didn't answer.
Well this wasn't anything that could be discussed over phone anyway.

An hour later Jonny still wasn't back and I decided to call Will. He had told me he would be at the studio today so maybe Jonny was there as well.
But he had no idea where Jonny was either.

After that hadn't been successful either I came to the conclusion that it would be a good idea to go for a walk and get a clear mind.

Without really thinking about it I went to my favorite private place in the park.
What I didn't consider is that it was someone else's favorite place as well.

Climbing up the little hill I noticed two figures filling up the shady spot in between the two large trees. It didn't take long for me to identify them as Jonny and Phil.

I hesitated but before I could consider turning around Jonny turned his head towards me.

"Chris? What are you doing here?"

Jonny was seemingly surprised and uncomfortable, obviously he had been talking about something important with Phil.

"I wanted to ask you the same thing. Sorry to interrupt you."

Earlier all I had wanted to do is talk to Jonny and tell him how sorry I was but right now the words just seemed to be gone. The fact that Phil was here as well didn't make it particularly easier.
But once again I was lucky Phil and I knew each other good enough to not need any words. Or maybe Jonny just had told him what had happened already.

"I think I'll better go and leave you two alone."

We both looked after Phil walking away from us in silence. Then I sat down in the grass facing Jonny.

"Chris, it's..."

I interrupted Jonny who clearly had no idea what to say either.

"I'm so terribly sorry Jonny. I never meant to be so mean and harsh to you. I don't know what I was thinking, I was just too exhausted. I know I'm a terrible person and you don't deserve to be treated like that. I totally understand if you don't want to be together with me anymore. You keep being so nice to me but I don't know if I can ever change and I don't want you to be hurt more then you already are. I will always love you but I don't think I'll ever be able to give you what you deserve, Jonny."

Jonny just stared back at me, his eyes filling up with tears but he kept trying hard to hold them back.

"What are you talking about Chris? Of course I want to be together with you! I love you more than anything and I would be lost without you. It's okay, you just had a hard and exhausting day, everyone feels like that sometimes. You don't need to change I love you just the way you are!"

Now neither of us could keep themselves from letting the tears roll down our cheeks.

"How do I deserve someone like you, Jonny Boy?"

We didn't need to say anything anymore, Jonny just leaned towards me, hugging me thightly and placing his mouth on mine. We let ourselves roll onto our backs, almost disappearing in the bushes around us. I completely forgot where I actually was, all that mattered was Jonny next to me. The world stopped turning when I was with him and it would always keep doing so.