Forgotten and Forgiveness

Chapter 18 - Free

"Lucy!" Yells a little girl. She is tiny and has dark hair. I turn around to see her. She is wearing a cowboy hat and gives me a big grin. I walk towards her and reach out for her delicate little hand. But when I touch her she turns to ash. I try touching some flowers in a vase. As soon as I do the flower's petals start falling and the plant dies. I look down at my hands then walk backwards and touch the wall with my back. What in the world have I done?

I jolt awake, then look around my room. Concrete walls. Charcoal drawings. The silent snores of Cana on the other side of the room. I lay back down and try to fall asleep, yet my eyes remain open. I remember what is happening that day in the morning. It's been three days since I've seen a smile from someone I used to love. But now I love no one. Not my Dad. Not Cana. Not Natsu. I guess that means I'm a loner. 

If I've learned anything from this place, I know where the cockroaches on the wall go and when a 6 year old cries at night. I know he's been framed too. The window that sits in the middle of the room has the early day's sunlight shining through it in a warm colored pattern. I walk to the window and look out at the sunlight drifting across the icy water. The last sunrise I will ever see. 

My back aches and my hair is oily. My skin is completely pale. My lips peel. The clock rings to signify that it's time to get up. Guards and policeman funnel through the halls, getting to where they're supposed to go. After we've gotten up and put on our outfits, one unlocks all of the cells, then leads us to the cafeteria. On the way, I comb through my messy hair. 

This morning we are having a pile of salty, lumpy, rice pudding. I scoop some of mine up and put it in my mouth. I shiver down the thought of what may be in this and force myself to eat just like every other day. All of a sudden a guard calls my name. I leave my seat next to Cana and smile at her. She smiles back. The last time i'll ever see my roommate. 

I follow the guard down to a room where they prep me for my execution. On the striking white walls there is a gray outfit that is as boring as ever. I'm having a public execution, and I'm not too happy about that. I wanted to be in a silent room where no one could see me and my shaking body that was about to die. I want to die alone.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

I put my hair into a messy braid and notice something poking out of a box in the corner of the room. I cross the room and take it out of the box. Natsu's scarf. I drape it over me. It will be a little chilly outside. I put my hand up to the glass of the small window that looks outside. It's cold.  My breath fogs up the glass, and I draw a smiley face in it. 

"Miss Heartfelia, it's time." I look behind me and see a guard holding his hand out for me to take. And I do. 

He pushes open the doors to the place of death. Blood is around the sides of and on the guillotine(search it up on google if you don't know what it is). The guy leads me to the wooden place where I'm supposed to put my head. I put my chin in the very uncomfortable crevice in the wood, then have to listen to my death speech. 

Everyone I've ever cared about sits before my very eyes. Mirajane, Makarov, Elfman, Erza, Evergreen, My Dad, Igneel, and next to him is an empty seat. Most of my other friends didn't come because they couldn't risk to see me like this. Lisanna would've enjoyed watching my head being removed from my body and my soul rising up to the heavens above. It hurts to think about that. But she's not here. And all I can think about is how I want Natsu so bad.

I think about everything. Everything terrible, happy, and jumbled up memories from when my mom walked on Earth. I think about what death will feel like. At least I know that it will be pitch black and carefree. Something I've been wanting to have happen for the longest time. What hurts the most is the fact that I gave up. That feeling sinks to the bottom of me.

The man who operates the rope is cued after my speech. I tremble and close my eyes tight, but then relax. I let myself go limp. Lucy Heartfelia, I tell myself. You'll finally be free. Then a loud BAM occurs. I see darkness, then light at the end of a long tunnel. I run towards it and I'm warm. Like that time in the lake. 

I look up and see pink hair. Kicks, punches, scars. I'm reliving my past in five seconds. It's weird, because that very person lifts me up and holds me like a stray kitten on the streets. I've never felt something so beautiful and clear. 

I can open my eyes. So I do. And there's Natsu, holding onto my waist. The guards are knocked out, the guillotine's sharp part is being held by my hero. Like a scene from a movie. I look up at him with dreary eyes. He looks down at me. Through the crowd's dead silence, all I can hear is his raspy breaths. He smiles down at me. 

And I feel free.