Forgotten and Forgiveness

Chapter 13 - Warmth

The rain comes down from the gloomy sky. I count Natsu's steps as he walks away with Lisanna in his arms. I wish I was that perfect girl that had her fear handed to her. I wish I had someone who cared about me as much as I do everyone else. They would protect me from my dad and the kids who bully me. 

So much has happened this month. I fell into Natsu's arms, got handcuffed to him, killed his mother, and beat up his girlfriend. I hold my bloody knuckles and wipe them on my shirt. Deep thoughts and hatred consume me and throw me down a dark hole. Why can't I be like everyone else?

I rock on the concrete floor, the smell of garbage filling my nose. That's what I am. I'm just a piece of trash, thrown on the ground to disintegrate. To die.

I am just done with everything.

Lucy, sometimes things can happen that hurt you, throw you to the ground, and stomp on you, but other times they become happier. All the bruises and cuts within our hearts learn to heal and stop bleeding. Or else life would be depressing and sad. As your mother I know what the one spark is that will ignite your heart. You just have to let him in.

Lucy darling, I love you as much as your mother did. We all love you. I'm proud of you for staying so strong. I admire you for that. And I must say little one, you didn't kill me, you brought me happiness in my final breath.

Who are these voices inside my head?

"Lucy, your going to catch a cold." Says a sweet voice from behind me. I turn around and see Levy standing there in the rain. "I found this at your locker." She holds out a white scarf with black lines indented all over the fabric creating little patches that stick out like a quilt. My first thought: It looks kind of familiar. 

"I wanted to apologize for everything Lu. I'm sorry." She says, looking down and playing with her fingers. "It's alright Levy, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about the handcuffs." She looks at me as if she wants me to tell her why. I give in and explain that Natsu had stolen something from me so we were forced to be handcuffed together for 3 days. It was kind of the truth, but I didn't want to go into depth about it. I wouldn't want her to know about the abusing. 

I know Levy wouldn't unfriend me for that, but then she would have her parents call the police, and I would end up in a foster home with other kids who were probably going to be brats, bullies, and I have a strange feeling that one would even try to rape me. That thought fills me with disgust. At least Natsu won't try that in a million years. 

"Oh, that explains it. You know, you could've just been honest with me before." Now Levy's got me wrapped up in her raincoat and has put her gloves on my hands. "How bout I walk you home?" She offers. "No, that's really not necessary." I didn't want her to see my house. "I'll return these to you tomorrow Lev." She then hands me the scarf and walks away. "See you tomorrow." "You too Luce!"

As soon as Levy hands me the scarf, it's soft fabric dances on my fingertips. And the warmth...why is it so warm anyway? I'm sure I've felt this thing before and seen it too. I just can't remember. I wrap in around my neck and flipped the hood of the raincoat over my head. By the time I get to Salamander avenue, my jeans are soaked and my shoes are covered with so much mud that you can't even tell what they look like. 

I see something shocking before my eyes. There, on the sidewalk next to Lisanna's house, I see a small figure's hand reach up and slap a guy with short pointy hair. The small one, which I'm assuming is a girl, holds on to the side of a small car, on one leg. The other pointed outward as if it hurts. 

The guy falls to the ground, and the girl limps inside. I speed walk by, hoping they didn't see me. It must have been some people from school. But who? It's not important to me, but I can't help wondering why the girl limped inside Lisanna's house. It must have been Principal Mirajane slapping her boyfriend Laxus. Don't ask me how I know this. 

I open the door to my house and it makes a creaky sound. My dad sits there, watching sports through static every few seconds. A few hours pass by, and it's dark outside. "I want food." My father says out of the blue. "Yes father." I say, then walk to the doorway of the kitchen. "Don't call me father, call me Mr. Heartfelia. You are my maid after all." He says. Those words hurt, but not as much as Natsu's. 

"But you're my dad..." I say. The words just slip out of my mouth. "ARE YOU ARGUING WITH ME LUCY?! REMEMBER, YOU'RE NOTHING MORE THAN A DISHRAG TO ME!" He screams, making me back into a dark corner. "Aren't I to everybody?" I mutter loud enough for him to hear. He looks at me confused. 

"I get bullied at school dad! I get thrown to the ground everyday and you don't care!" I yell. I don't know where my life has gone anymore. It's fallen into a hole, like most kids at school say I should die in.  I just don't know where I should go anymore. So I run. Out of the house, and off of the path that leads to school. 

I run as fast I possibly can go. Through tall grass, not caring if I get ticks on me or not. My feet feel wet after a while, then it goes up to my ankles, knees, my waist, but I don't open my eyes. I don't care if I sink into an ocean. It just means an early ending. I keep trying to run in the water, and it's up to my neck. Then it cover's my face. 

I'm so peaceful. The water holds my face in it's palms gently. I can move around freely as I wish. And then my hand is concealed in warmth. The same as the scarf. I feel a stick wrapping around my back. It's warm too. And then my stomach and chest are warm. All I can think of is 'I'm dead.' And like that, I'm risen. 

I try to make sense of what is happening. My head is lifted out of the water, then my shoulders, and I move sideways towards the bank of the water. I flatten out on the ground, my eyes still not open. I can't breathe. I fell pumping on my chest for a few minutes. I'm not sure i'm going to be able to return to this world. 

And the warmth moves to my lips. Holding on for minutes, blowing air into me. I take my first big breath of air and feel the warmth remove itself from my mouth. My eyes slowly flutter open and the last thing I see before I totally black out is the ruffle of the bushes that I've ran through, except their leading to the houses on the nicer plantation where only 4 people I know live. Levy, Gray, Sting, and...

Natsu