I neatly positioned my pictures in rows, spacing them out so I was able to clearly see them all. They were pictures I had taken with my Polaroid camera Austin and mom had given me on my seventeenth birthday.
I smiled as I saw Jenny and Liv making the weirdest faces in a picture. I think this was after our first senior party. All I could recall was grimy, sweaty dancing with a guy whose name I couldn't remember, and the buzzing of the alcohol in my veins.
My attention was drawn to a picture of my mom, Austin and I sitting in the restaurant where she worked. We were oblivious to someone taking a picture, laughing and being a family. She worked as a sous chef; she was so proud of herself, and so were Austin and I. We had never seen her so happy, except when she was in the kitchen. I guess she wanted me to be a part of it because she wanted me to feel the joy she felt when she cooked. But photography made me happy.
A knock on the door drew me away from my thoughts. I placed the picture back in it's original place on the table, scurrying to the door. I opened it, being greeted by a wide-eyed Harry. I mentally reprimanded myself for not checking through the peephole first.
"I was going to use your spare key to get in, but I wanted to see if you were home," he rambled.
"Here I am," I shrugged, leaning on the doorway. "What do you want?"
"I just need to talk to you. Can I come in?"
I gave it thought, thinking that once he was in, it would be difficult to get him to leave. Although, I wanted to know what the hell happened at the pub, and why he said what he said, and what Niall meant by "been through a lot." I had so many questions, but I pushed them to back of my head.
"Sure," I sighed.
He let out a breath of relief before walking in, me closing the door before following behind him. He stood near the table where the pictures remained, hands buried in his pockets, his feet becoming of interest.
"Ella, I, uh..." He cleared his throat before continuing. "I'm sorry."
I blinked, giving him a blank expression. "You came all the way over here...to tell me that."
"No," he blurted. "I-I mean, yes."
"Which is it?"
"I just - I had so many things going through my mind, and I was spending most of the day trying to figure out how to put them together."
I threw my hands up, not knowing how to respond. "I don't know what you want me to do, Harry. You called me your 'mate' not even a whole twenty four hours after you told me you loved me. So, either you got confused and said the wrong thing, or you didn't mean what you said."
His eyes locked on mine as he strode towards me. "I meant what I said, I swear it. I do love you."
I shook my head. "Then prove it."
He inhaled deeply, taking my hand. "Come somewhere with me."
"Harry, I'm in my pajamas." I glanced down at my plaid pants and bed slippers. "And it's late."
"Please, I promise it will be worth it."
I groaned, letting him drag me out of my apartment.
___________________
"Are we allowed up here?"
"Not exactly, but I've been up here enough times to know we won't get caught."
I trailed behind him as we walked up the metal spiral staircase. I felt it wobble underneath me, immediately gripping onto the railing.
"Harry, is this safe?"
"It's just a bit rusty, that's all. C'mon, we're almost there."
I huffed, continuing up the stairs until we reached an open doorway. I came to notice that we were on a roof, outlooking London. Lights coming from tall buildings scattered across the horizon, illuminating the dark sky. Out in the distance, I could see the hands on Big Ben ticking slowly, almost hitting ten o'clock.
"This is beautiful," I mused.
"I know," Harry said, sitting on the concrete.
"How did you find this?" I asked, settling myself next to him.
"This is one of the buildings my father's company used to own," he answered, gazing at the city in front of us. "I came up here whenever I had to wait for him to be done with meetings, and they would usually run really late. I loved watching the cars and the people underneath me and seeing the lights. I thought it was amazing."
"It's so nice up here." The brisk winter air blew lightly, pricking at my skin.
"I was gutted when they closed it down last year, but didn't tear it down, luckily."
I closed my eyes, absorbing the gorgeous view and the isolated sounds of London. I opened them, looking to my side to find Harry lying down, hands behind his head, eyes fixed on the sky above him.
I sunk my body next to his. "Harry..." He focused on me. "Why did you bring me here?"
"I've never brought anyone up here. I never even told anyone about it. This was like my safe haven."
I remained quiet, making sense of what he said.
"Ella, you're my safe haven now."
An entire zoo was in my stomach, my heart literally skipping a beat at his words. He made me feel things unimaginable.
"I can tell you have a million and one questions by that little vein in your forehead that's about to pop," he teased.
I chuckled as I felt his hand inch towards mine that lay at my side, fingers threading into each other.
"Ask away," he spoke softly.
I took a moment to form my cluttered thoughts into coherent sentences.
"Why did you tell Niall that - "
"Look, Niall loves embarrassing people, especially me," he interrupted. "He feeds off of it. And I knew where he was going to go with the conversation, and trust me, after hearing what he said, you wouldn't want to be part of it."
"What could he possibly say that would be that bad?"
He cleared his throat, his tongue darting out to moisten his lips as he turned away from me. "I, uh...I've had my fair share of girls th-that I've slept with, and Niall likes to constantly remind me of that. I just didn't want you to feel uncomfortable."
"Oh," I said, my voice sounding smaller than expected. My insecurities got the best of me, speculating the amount of girls Harry has brought home, never seeing them again. I gazed at the sky, inhaling intensely.
He gave my hand a light squeeze. "Look at me," he demanded.
I did as told, his jade orbs hard, indicating he was serious. "I love you," he breathed, putting emphasis on the third syllable. "You are all I want."
He brought my hand that he held up to his mouth, pressing a light kiss to the back. He then rested my hand against his chest. It wasn't until moments after that I realized he wanted to me to feel his heartbeat, which was exceptionally fast. A small smile broke across my face, him returning the action.
I could tell he had never been this intimate with someone before. There was never this much passion and adoration in his previous relationships, if there were any at all. I couldn't believe that so much of my affection and devotion had been put into just one person, and Harry, out of the billions of people on this earth.
I let my hand trail to his jaw, my palm gently resting on his cheek. "I love you, Harry."
The heart fluttering grin on his face grew larger as he stood up, offering a hand. I took it, coming to stand in front of him.
"At least I got to take you to one of the places I've been," he smiled, latching his hand in mine as we headed towards the door.
___________________
"Tell me something about you that is least expected," I said, grabbing another handful of popcorn.
We sat cross-legged on the couch in Harry's apartment, eating, most of which had ended up on the floor from throwing it at each other.
He stayed silent for a moment, thinking. "Well, most people don't know that I enjoy baking," he replied.
"You like to bake?"
"Don't make fun of me," he chuckled.
"I'm not, I just wouldn't peg you as a guy that would even spend time in the kitchen to make a sandwich."
"I can make a fantastic sandwich, and a pretty mean red velvet cake. I'll have to make it for you one of these days."
I nodded, grinning as I put popcorn in my mouth.
"So, your turn," he said smugly.
"My turn for what?" I asked.
"To tell me something."
"Tell you what?"
He narrowed his eyes, irritated. "Don't play dumb."
"Alright," I laughed. "Not counting you, I, um, I've only had sex four times."
A heavy silence filled the air while I timidly fiddled with my fingers. I peered up to see Harry's playful demeanor had disappeared, his eyes boring into me with a shocked aspect.
"A-Are you kidding?"
"No," I said quietly. "Once in my junior year of high school, once in my sophomore year of college, and twice with my ex-boyfriend, Jake. Who, coincidentally, broke up with me the night I met you."
"How long were you with him?"
"Two years," I answered. "He was studying to be a lawyer, and he had a job as an intern, so he was always so busy with 'work, and law stuff.'" I put up air quotes as I spoke. "Only to find out that he had slept with a girl throughout most of our relationship, which was harsh. Y'know, you think you find someone, and then you find out you're not good enough."
I went back to twiddling my thumbs, tears brimming at my eyes. One found it's way down my cheek, quickly brushing it away. "But that's all in the past. I'm over it," I lied.
Harry's thumb and index finger came to grasp my chin, tilting my face upwards to look at him. His emerald eyes were delicate and inviting as he gaped at me.
"I promise you, I will never, ever make you feel like you're unwanted."
Absorbing his words, I felt myself go weightless. Like the saddest, most empty parts of me had removed themselves.
His lips meshed into mine, the kiss tender and sultry as the taste of movie theater butter lingered on them. He lifted me so that I sat on his lap, my knees on either side of his waist. His arms rested on my lower back, drawing me closer to his torso as my hands cupped his cheeks. Our lips moved together, slow and stimulated.
He pulled away, our lips brushing. "Stay with me tonight," he whispered breathlessly.
I gave him a warm smile, nuzzling my nose against his as I nodded.
