Divergent; A Different Life

Chapter 4

Four's POV

    "Fear doesnt shut you down; it wakes you up. I've seen it. It's fascinating. Sometimes I just want to see it again" I say to her. I do care about Tris and it hurts me to know that she thinks I don't. "I push you until you break, just to see how hard I have to press. You belong here Tris, you belong with us; so just hold on you can do this." And she does belong with us. She's so brave and selfless, full of life, and just Dauntless. 

    That moment when she fell from that net; that grey blur, I knew that she had a story. That she was different. She intrigued me from the start and I instantly fell for her.

    Tris began crying and I don't know why. Maybe she was in pain or maybe it was what I said but I don't mind. I cupped her face with my hand and began lightly stroking my thumb against her cheekbone brushing away her tears; careful not to press on her dark bruise. I know this is inappropriate and I shouldn't be doing this but I really don't care. I like Tris, and for the first time I feel like I can trust someone. Trust someone with everything in my past and everything about me, and that someone is her.

    After a few minutes off sitting like this in silence, I was the one to break it. "Tris we should probably get you cleaned up, let me help you sit up." She nodded ever so slightly. I carefully not to hurt her, placed one hand around her back and used the other one to grab her hand and pull her up. She lets out a squeal in pain as I do so but there is nothing I can do about it. I help walk her into the bathroom carefully sitting her on the edge of the tub. I turned the water on allowing it to heat up some. "I think you need to rely on your friends for help for now on" I say to her. "I thought that's what I was doing but I guess I was wrong" she said looking down sadly. "Tris, Al is broken. He is scared and lost, he doesn't know where he belongs. He thought that he was strong because he thought he had to protect you but he doesn't". 

   I felt a bit of jealousy burn inside me of the thought of someone else protecting Tris. But I realized that I'm the one who is protecting her right now. Being there for her.

    "Al wanted you to stay weak and you're not, your so much more than that" I say. She stares at me with her greyish blue eyes and then looks away. I looked at her and turned for the cabinet next to me. I opened it and pulled out a towel and washcloth. I sat it in Tris' reach and walked out the bathroom allowing Tris to clean up. I put the bag with her belongings in there earlier.

    Part of me wishes I would of said something to her further after she looked away, to tell her how I really feel. But it wasn't the time and again is still stupid. I shouldn't feel this way for Tris she's my initiate and I'm her instructor. Stupid.