Falling Down

9: Not Ever

Vivian:

“Because,” he paused, “I love you.”

My smile faded from my face. He was serious. I knew that I felt something for him, but I wasn’t sure it was love. Not yet anyway. How could he know that he was in love with me so soon?

“Look, Viv, I’ve loved you since we were in Hogwarts. This isn’t just something that I’ve jumped into too fast,” it was like he was reading my mind, “You don’t have to say it back if you’re not sure, but if you don’t mind, I won’t take mine back. Not ever.”

He then tried to kiss me, but I pulled away. This made things awkward. I couldn’t be there with a man that loved me, but I wasn’t sure about my feelings for him. I grabbed my stuff and headed for the door.

“I’m sorry, but I have to go,” I then ran out of the house.

I wasn’t sure where I was going, but I was going there. His words just kept running through my mind.

“I love you.”

I admit, I was scared. A man had never told me he loved me, except for my Dad that is. I wanted to be with Draco. I really did, but I don’t know. I just don’t know. I need some advice. Advice from another woman. I tried to think of a woman that I knew that I was friends with, but only one came to mind. Pansy.

I wasn’t sure where she lived, but I just pictured her in my mind. I felt myself being squeezed, and when I opened my eyes, I was in front of a huge, brick house. This had to be it. It had Blaise written all over it.

“Vivian?” Pansy asked when she opened the door with a baby is her arms.

“When did you have a baby?” I asked.

“Two months ago,” she smiled down at the baby, “Come on in,” she then said to me, “Just let me put Susan down in her crib, and I will be right down.”

I nodded as she walked up the stairs to the right. I walked more in and saw that there was a sitting room to the left. I sat down on the sofa and waited.

“Vivian?” Blaise asked as he walked over, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be over at Draco’s?”

“I was, but I left,” I then spotted Pansy coming down the stairs, “I need to talk to Pansy.”

“Alright, we’ll talk later,” he patted my knee and walked out of the room.

“What was it you needed?” she said as she sat next to me.

“I need some advice, and you’re the only one that I could think of. I hope it’s alright.”

“It’s fine. It’ll be like the old days,” she smiled, “except it’s your turn.”

I remembered how she was the one who needed all the advice when we were at Hogwarts.

“So, what is it?”

“Well, It’s about Draco,” I started.

“Oh! Tell me all about it,” she said excitedly like we were school girls again.

I smiled, “He made me dinner tonight.”

“How was it?”She interrupted.

“I never got to find out because it got awkward,” I paused because I thought she was going to interrupt again.

“Well, what made it so awkward?”

“He told me that he loved me,” I then blushed.

“Oh. My. Gosh,” she looked so excited, “I knew it. Every since sixth year at Hogwarts. So, what did you say?”

“That’s it. I said nothing, and then ran out.”

“That’s bad. You just made it more awkaward.”

“I really didn’t mean to do it. I’m just not sure that I’m in love with him,” I then paused, “How did you know you loved Blaise.”

“I didn’t. Until he told me he loved me,” she smirked, “So, do you look forward to seeing him?”

“I actually did.”

“Do you find yourself thinking about him constantly?”

“I do.”

“Do you see yourself being with him for a long time.”

“I do,” I then realized that I actually said that. I did. I could picture having kids and going the full long run, until we were old and grey.

“Then guess what?” she smiled goofily at me.

“What?” I started to realize what she was saying.

“You’re in love with him as well,” she paused, “You should go tell him before its too late.”