Falling Down

5: Everyone Has Their Problems

Vivian:

“You want to get out of here?” Draco asked me.

That line made me think of my ex, Lance. He was my partner on most of the assignments for the first two years after Hogwarts. He was the one that gave me my philosophy on love. I was so in love with him that I was completely lost. I didn’t turn in my assignments on time. I didn’t sleep well unless I was in his arms. I didn’t eat. I didn’t care about keeping in touch with my friends. He totally blinded me then tore my heart right out of my chest.

We were in India doing the story on the ancient ways of the Indian wizard villages that were out of touch with the modern world. He said that he was going out for some fresh air and didn’t return for two hours. I was getting worried about him, so I slipped out and looked for him. I found him at the bar across from our hotel. He was in an enclosed tent with a table and a love seat on the inside. He was not alone. He was with some native muggle girl, who wasn’t even above the age of sixteen. He didn’t even know her name.

That was the last time I saw him. He didn’t even come after me. That was two years I will never get back.

I hesitated when Draco asked me that line. I didn’t know what to say or do. I could tell that he was getting pissed that I wasn’t answering him, so I gave him one.

“Sure,” I said, taking his arm. I was out to go home with a man, why not let it be a rich one as well?

Oh. My. God. Did I just actually think that about Draco? A man that I have so much history with? Do I really see him as just a late night fling? When we were at Hogwarts, I wanted to be with him. I fell hard, but that was after he showed his feelings for me, when he thought that the kiss on the cheek was more. I couldn’t face him after that. He probably didn’t have the same feelings towards me after that, not enough to catch me anyway.

Seeing him for the first time in five years, definitely brought back those feelings that I thought I had buried down deep along with my past. Wait, I can’t bury my past. It still has me screaming awake. That means that I couldn’t bury the feelings that I have fore Draco.

Whatever he has on his mind, even if it is just a late night fling, I would cherish. I still can’t be there for him when I’m still this broken myself.

“Yours or mine?” He asked as he lead me out the door.

“Yours,” I said, seeming very confident when, in reality, I was so nervous. I was surprised I was even walking with him. I came that close to fainting.

“Can I get you a drink?” he asked when we walked in his door.

“I think I’ve had enough to drink tonight,” which was the truth.

His house was nice. Not as big as I would’ve imagined, but it worked. You could tell that he was still proud of being a Malfoy since there was silver and green everywhere. I took a seat on one of the black leather couches. He did the same.

“So,” I said, moving closer.

“So,” he said, not moving.

I moved even closer, leaning over him. Then, I took that chance and kissed him. He didn’t kiss back at first, but then he really got into it. His hands were running through my hair and mine were playing with the button on his slacks. Next thing I knew, I was on my back, and he was undoing the buttons on my shirt. I pulled him in for another kiss, but he then pulled away.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, my shirt was totally off.

“I have to know,” he then looked in my eyes, “Why did you pull away? Why would you let me bear everything to you and then just leave? Why did you never speak to me again?”

“Draco,” I hesitated. I didn’t know if I could tell him.

“That’s not the answer,” he then stood up and went over to the window.

I was quiet as I prodded my brain for the right words to say, “Draco,” I had stood up, “I didn’t know that you would spill all those secrets to me. I just couldn’t be there for you.”

“And why not? I needed you,” he looked at me, “Why, Vivian?”

“Because I was, am, broken as much or more that you are.”

“Would you mind elaborating?” Draco looked confused, “You seemed to have the perfect life, not filled with problems.”

“Ha,” I laughed a little, “Everyone has their problems.”

It was then that I told him everything.