Falling Down

3: I'd Rather Stay Sane

Vivian:

Alright, its confession time. I lied about Draco. We actually got along. He was a great friend to me, but I never let him in. I never told him why I am the why I am or behind the reasons for what I did. He probably thought I was a bitch, probably still does.

That night was not like any of our normal nights spent together. He was being so nice and so kind, that I thought he might be the one. The one to save me from this past and my present. He must’ve sensed something because he told me everything, every horrifying thing that had happened to him. I felt sorry for him. I felt empathy for him because I too had terrifying secrets. I felt that I should do something to cheer him up, so I leaned in. I was just going to kiss him on the cheek, but he thought it was more. So, I turned my head. I left him there and never spoke to him again. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t be there for him whenever I’m just as broken as he is.

I wish I had a second chance to tell him that.

That night that I went out after feeling so guilty about what I had done to Draco, I went to the Hog’s Head. There were usually somewhat handsome men who were willing to bring me home with them.

That’s where I ran into Blaise Zambini. He was looking so nice since the last time I saw him, more handsome even. He didn’t recognize me at first, so I just sat beside him and ordered a drink. When he heard my voice, He turned his head.

“Vivian Riddle?” He asked as he looked me up and down, “When did you get back in town?”

See, I have become a traveling journalist for the Daily Prophet. I continued to take assignment after assignment just so I didn’t have to come back to the office. I’ve been all over the world and seen it all. This was the first time I’ve been back in England for the past five years.

“About a month,” was my reply.

“The last time I saw you was graduation day,” he paused for a moment, “You look good, Riddle.”

“Why thank you. You don’t look bad yourself,” It was my turn to look him up and down, “So, what have you been up to since then?”

“I work at the Ministry as the Head of the Board of Wizard Schooling.”

“That’s you. Always wanting to change the ways of the school,” I remembered him at Hogwarts, especially when Umbrige was headmaster. He hated her with a passion.

“Yep,” he looked down at his drink, “How have you been? Really been?” He knew. He was the only person that knew. The only person I had let all the way in.

“Same as always.”

“Do you get out much? Ever take a chance? Fall for some bloke,” that was his advice when we graduated.

“I have traveled around the world, I have taken more chances than you can know about, and did not fall for some bloke.” He looked rather disappointed, “What about you?”

“I haven’t gotten out that much, I don’t take many chances, and I did fall for a girl,” he held up his hand to show me a wedding band.

“Wow,” I was happy for him, “who’s the lucky doll?”

“Pansy,” he smiled down at his glass, “for someone that was totally annoying, she’s my soul mate.”

“She was pretty annoying,” I remembered Pansy perfectly. We were not friends, I’ll say that much.

“I’m glad that you’ve gotten out and had some adventure, but whats the problem? You’re beautiful. Why not settle down? Fall in love?” There’s the reason for the disappointment.

“Falling in love is like falling down the rabbit hole. Crazy things happen and you lose yourself in it,” I had came up with this when my first love broke my heart, “I’d rather stay sane.”

“Didn’t you see that end of Alice in Wonderland?”

“I hate to admit that I haven’t,” which is totally the truth.

“Well, Alice makes it back to reality, and she lives happily ever after with the change,” he then looked over her shoulder and smiled, “Do you want to see another old friend?”

When I looked over my shoulder, I saw who he was looking at. There was no way I was staying now because the person at the door was Draco Malfoy.