Thor and i had sat in my room on the floor all that day, getting into a routine of crying, calming down, looking at eachother, and crying even more. Every now and then I'd lean on his shoulder, just for the simple reason that knowing he was there offered at least some comfort. It was a while before I was ready (and able to, through the tears, through that matter) to ask the question that had been there underneath all the grief and guilt.
"Are.. are you angry with me..?" I asked, my voice sounding more broken than I thought it would. I stared at the floor and not at him. He, however, looked at me.
"No," he answered, his voice just as broken as mine. "I know you didn't know what you were doing... and it wasn't your fault really..." Though, I was sure that some part of him resented me.I simply and continued staring fixedly at the floor, but another question popped into my head.
"Won't you have to tell them that I..." I trailed off, knowing he would understand what I meant and that I could not say it, "And then they'll drag me back off to prison?" I glanced over at him. "I can't go back.. It's Helheim to be sitting in that cell day in and day out, trapped in your own mind... just like..." I trailed off again, but Thor spoke, so there was no silence.
"I don't let them, Loki... I'll just.. bend the truth," he replied.
"You'd lie? To your own kingdom, for me, Thor?" It surprised me. After all, he was the Golden Prince of Asgard.
"Not lie," he corrected, "Bend the truth. And you should know that I would do anything for you, Loki." He sighed, trying to clear his mind. "I'll just tell them that you woke up to a scream, and upon inspection you found mother. It's not exactly a lie... it's just leaving out the matter of your nightmare."
This is precisely what Thor did when the guard from before came hours later to gather the information from him. I, myself, had no problem with lying, no matter the reason, but to have him lie? And for me? It put even more guilt in my heart, as if there wasn't enough of that.
Once the small meeting was over, Thor came back and sat beside me once more. It was dead silent. Neither of us had any more tears, and Thor had not more words. I didn't think I did either, until I blurted out, "I can't stay here any more."
"What?" Thor asked, thinking he'd heard me wrong.
"I can't stay here. I have to leave." I stood up and looked for a bag.
"Define 'here', Loki," he said, hoping I simply meant my room or the castle.
At last, I spotted a large bag and set it on my bed, then going to grab some of my journals. "Here, meaning Asgard," I replied, putting the journals in the bag, the few that I'd selected taking up half the room.
Thor stood at this point. "Loki, you cannot be serious!" he exclaimed.
"I am!" I said, my mind made up. "I'm leaving Asgard as soon as is oportune. Surely, you cannot expect me to stay here in the land of my living nightmares?" I began placing clothes in my bag, only half folding them, as I was in a hurry to get packed.
Thor placed his hand on my shoulder. "Loki, listen, just because mother is-"
I whipped around to face him. "THIS IS NOT ABOUT MOTHER!!!" I yelled. "This is about every bad thing that's ever happened on this blasted realm, and the fact that I have no desire nor reason to remain here any longer!!"
Thor opened his mouth to speak, but remained silent, and took a step away. Meanwhile, I took a deep breath and resumed packing my things. What I heard next was a shock.
"Then I'm coming with you," Thor declared. It was clear he had made up his mind, and there was no use tryingto persuade someone as stubborn as he.
"Fine," I said, only hesitating a moment. "Go pack your things. We leave tomorrow."
YOU ARE READING
What is Freedom?
FanfictionLoki has done some horrible things, to that he admits, but the punishment he has recieved is worse than imprisonment, worse than execution. Loki now has no family, and ultimately one question stays in his mind: What is freedom?
