The Consulting Detective's Apprentice (Sherlock x Reader)

Chapter 9: Don't drink and drive, or you'll most certainly die

Your P.O.V.

Let's just say...

...Sherlock had been annoying the holy motherfucking shit out of you.

That's not exaggerated, really.

After that stupid undercover job, where you had to be al smoochy with him even though he didn't actually give a flying crap, and where you had considered going back at the party after it had been done to find the small broken pieces of your heart that had been scattered all over the place, he hadn't stopped bothering you for a single god for-fucking-saken minute.

It may sound like your very aggressive but you aren't.

You're just fucking frustrated.

Shut up.

Frustrated? Oh yes, very much so.

Why? Oh I don't know, maybe because the man you had more than a major crush on, told you you didn't mean shit to him and that he was playing with your emotions for fun and that everything he had told you was a lie. What obviously fucked you up. Then you start getting your shit together, and it was starting to work a little bit, and you were being more like yourself every day, and then he decides it's the right time to act jealous and tell you that he had lied about that he had been lying (that makes perfect sense). So you start doubting every little thing. Is he lying about lying? Does he give a damn? Would explain a lot though? Is he just screwing with your head again? I DON'T KNOW.

Is that the end of it? Ooooooohhhh no we're just getting started. Then you have to act that you love him and that he loves you, to pretend that you're fucking married okay?! And that's honestly fine, actors do it all the time, no biggie. But he kisses you, and that wouldn't have been a problem if that hadn't been the sweetest motherflipping kiss you had ever had and it was so much more than you ever could've imagined and it was perfect and you swooned and freaked out and damn. But it was to distract the guard so you pull yourself together.

Can It get shittier? Yes, ma'am. Because he kisses you again, but this time you actually feel passion coming from him, like he really wants to kiss you. Again it's sweet, again you lose yourself, again you realise it's fake. But then he deepens the kiss, and that was it.

'It just can't be fake' You thought-stupid.

'Sherlock must really care for me because this is just too passionate' Another thought- fucking naïve dude. Damn.

Because when he pulled away, he told you within three words that the kiss had been to get the guard away from your own little break-in. And boom crash, your heart went all Primrose Everdeen on the place, so you couldn't find the remains of your exploded heart back even if you wanted to.

And believe me you didn't want to, because: fuck feelings.

Seriously.

Well only the unanswered, painful and depressing feelings, the rest may stay.

Focus.

FUCK FEELINGS.

Yeah, pretty hard-core huh? (Ironically. Please.) Well, not so hard-core. Why? Well, you cried a lot because the one guy that had you had the courage to open up to had thrown you away. And you went on wondering and pondering hours and hours what you had done wrong for him to dislike you so much, you had gotten along fine the month before that so what happened?

You didn't know, and after the kiss you didn't care. You were done. No more late-night spiral of depressing memories that made you cry yourself to sleep, no more feeling sorry for yourself and avoiding the things you loved doing. Sherlock may have been a dick to you, but that was done, finito.