Adopted by Black Veil Brides {BVB, PTV, SWS}

Chapter 24

{} Shadows POV {}

As Blade carried me into the house I whimpered in pain.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered in my ear.

"I just want to lay in bed and cuddle." I answered.

He chuckled lightly and made his way up the stairs. "They're going to want to talk to you, ya know."

"Yeah, I know. I just want to put it off as long as I can." I answered honestly.

"I can stay with you if you want." He told me softly.

I nodded with a small blush on my cheeks.

"I would have thought your back would be broken by now from carrying me so much." I giggled.

"What do you mean? You're as light as a feather." He told me with slight concern.

"160 pounds is not good for a 13 year old." I sighed. (YOU ARE PERFECT!!)

"There's no way you weigh that much!" He exclaimed as he gently sat me on my bed.

"Last time I checked." I sighed sadly.

"And when was that?" He narrowed his eyes at me.

"I don't know, at the orphanage." I answered honestly.

"Then you had to have lost weight. We will have to check later because that was probably a few weeks ago when you checked? And you're smaller than you think, babe." He promised me.

Just then the rest of the guys walked in.

"Are you okay to talk about all this?" Andy asked me.

I nodded hesitantly.

"Is there any way we can do it that will make you more comfortable?" Gabe awkwardly questioned.

"I think it will be easiest if you just ask me questions and don't be awkward about it." I stated.

They all nodded in agreement.

"How long have you been doing it?" Vic's eyes were full of concern.

"I'll tell you the honest answer, but you have to promise not to tell Faith. She's known me for a long time and she might blame it on herself if she knew I've done it this long." I bit the inside of my cheek.

"Promise." Multiple voices agreed.

"I started when I was 11, so a couple years." I stated.

"How did it start?" Jake questioned.

"One of my friends had done it. She struggled with it for a while, actually, but I hinted towards it in a conversation and her step sister figured it out so she told a counselor, causing my friend to stop. After that, I decided to try it. I told the same friend because I was scared about how much I enjoyed it. She told another friend and I smiled to try and play it off as cool. Well, they took that as I was enjoying the attention, so they started telling people I did it for attention and people started rumors about me. Everyone else bullied me even worse and I started getting bullied by people that used to be my friends. The person that did it blamed her problems on me because her step sister figured it out from me so I never stopped. It helped me, in a sick way."

"Can't you see that the feeling is all a lie? You're putting yourself in danger when you're slicing up your skin. You're only letting your self hate find its way in." Vic told me sadly. (Yes I just quoted a song. Sue me.)

"I just... I felt like I had no one. I was so alone, even in this world filled with billions of people. I felt like I deserved it. After hearing people call you names since the third grade, you start to believe them. And some days I was just so numb, I needed a reminder that this is even real, that I'm real." My eyes watered. "It was an everyday struggle, it is an everyday struggle, to do anything. Sometimes I physically can't even get out of bed. I have no motivation to even live my life. I just don't see the point of doing anything anymore. The only reason I keep going is because I know that there are a few people in this world who actually care about me. I keep going because even though everything gives me pain, sometimes all it takes is a moment of everyone else's happiness to make me smile."

After a moment of silence, Kellin rhetorically asked, "How have we not noticed?" In a broken voice.

"I'm good at acting, I guess." I whispered.

After another period of silence, I continued.

"How about you guys keep asking questions." I suggested.

"Okay. Tell us everything you suffer from. It's obviously more than anxiety and sleeping issues." Ashley raised an eyebrow.

"I have eating problems. I've never been diagnosed with depression, but I never told anyone how I truly felt." I admitted.

"Eating problems?" Blade asked from beside me.

"I usually eat one meal a day..." I sheepishly looked down. "I'm sorry. I know you hate me now. Don't worry, I hate me too."

Vic got up and walked out of the room, causing the tears to pour out of my already bloodshot eyes.

"We don't hate you." Andy promised.

"Vic does!" I motioned towards the doorway he exited though.

"No he doesn't. I promise you, he does not hate you." Andy told me.

"Then why did he leave?" I asked quietly.

Their silence answered my question.

"I'm going to go find him." I told them.

"We don't need you hurting yourself anymore." Blade sternly replied.

"Too bad. I'm going to make sure he's okay." I said before I gently stood up and went after him.

Wincing with every step, I approached Vic's room.

"Vic?" I called softly as I knocked on the door.

I heard a piece of metal fall to the floor and I immediately opened the door.

I found him barely crying while sitting on the floor of his room.

He immediately looked up at me and stood up.

"I.. I" He couldn't find the words to say.

"Did you do it again?" I softly asked as I walked towards him.

"No... It's just something- I've never been able to bring myself to get rid of it." He explained.

"How about we do it together?"

"Do what?" He furrowed his eyebrow.

"We can get rid of the things that ruin us."