That One Girl (An Outsiders FF)

Regrets

(Ponyboy's POV)

As I open my eyes I see the light particles floating in the air. I look at Amber who's sleeping next to me. She looks so at peace I can't believe it. I also can't believe I have the girl of the dreams sleeping right next to me... Well she has slept next to me but I mean who we are now.... I've seen her for all she is and she's seen me too.. Totally exposed.. And I hope that it meant something, because it meant a lot to me... But I'm going to have to discuss this with her when she wakes up. I don't want to be totally heartbroken.... Since I don't want this moment to be over I wrap my arms around her and snuggle even closer to her. Then I close my eyes and let out a long happy sigh.

(Johnny's POV)

I wake up in the lot. It's actually really cold this morning. I wrap myself in my jean jacket even tighter and try to fall back asleep. But I can't help thinking about Amber... She's all I think about these days. And I'm pretty sure Dal and Pony think about her a lot too. But Pony's with her so I think that she'll be ok... But Pony, I can tell he really likes her... And they ave this connection that is just electricity. It's almost as if they can never be separated.. But we all help with that since... You know... Ugh... I better just go to sleep...

(Amber's POV)

I open my eyes and I see the dust particles floating in the air. I can feel the warmth from Pony... We're both... Exposed... Last night was just a mixture of feelings for me. Me and Pony, doing the dirty was a mistake... I mean we didn't do the deed but we did kiss.. A lot... I just hope that he doesn't think it means anything. Because.. I was desperate for love, to feel loved and I hope he understands. I don't even know if I really like Pony, he's a great friend to go to when I'm sad and heartbroken. He always makes me feel special when I feel worthless. And last night he was like a rebound.. And I don't want him to be a rebound.. I don't want him to think he is...

I still love Johnny, I have mixed emotions about Dally, and Two-bit is a great friend, Darry's a dad, Soda's a prince in shinning armor that wasn't meant for me, Steve's a potential boyfriend but I feel like he'd be a jerk toward me, and Pony's just a friend... I know I can't be with Johnny because it's either me or Lucy, and Lucy always has the upper hand when it comes to him. She knows how to play with his feelings.. He's like a puppet to her, she can literally control him!

I will always love Johnny and I will always want him. I know he's not good for me at all.. He's hurt me in more ways than one, and every time the heartbreak is worse than the last... So now I just have to leave the broken pieces where they lay... That's where Pony comes in... Pony is nice to hang around when I'm sad or life is way too dramatic. He always brings happiness into my crazy messed up life. And like I already said he makes me feel special when I feel worthless. My feelings for him will always be friend related. But then again... Pony would never hurt me.

Sodapop is the best and he's really nice and protective. But he's meant for someone else. The twinkle in his eyes will slowly die if he's with me. I'm too unpredictable and he needs someone who's stable. I'm too crazy for him and even though he can be reckless, I'm just too much for him to handle. Which is why I fit perfectly for Dally. Dally is reckless and he can handle people who are as reckless and as crazy as himself. He know's how to deal with people and give them a good time when their down.

Two-bit and Pony are almost the same person, except Pony is really sweet and Two-bit is flirty. Two-bit is flirty as he is funny. I will always want to go to the movies and watch TV with him... But that's all...

"Amber are you awake?" Pony whispers.
"Yea." I whisper back and turn around to face him.
"Good morning." He says with a smile. I smile back.. Pony has that award winning smile.
"Morning." I said still smiling.
"We need to talk." He said dropping his smile. I knew what he meant.
"Pony... I just want to apologize." I said.
"For?" He asked with concern in his eyes.
"For last night... I don't want you to feel bad or have any regrets.. But I hope that you can just forget.. Ok?" I said looking him in his eyes.
"W-What? I don't regret last night... Last night was the best night we've ever spent together... I thought it meant something to you." He said... I could tell he was sad.

"Pony... I didn't know that it meant something to you... I'm sorry." I said taking his hands off back. I slowly started to get up.

"Where are you going?" He asked as he sat up.
"I'm leaving." I said grabbing my clothes.
"W-Wait why?" He asked.
"This isn't right." I said as I walked into the bathroom.

I started to put on my clothes, and I quickly washed my face with some water. I opened the door and I saw Pony still staring at me. He looked so heartbroken, this is what I was afraid of. I walked over to Pony and I kissed him on his cheek. Then I grabbed my backpack and walked out the door. I didn't look back... That show's weakness...