If I...

~<«Chapter 6»>~

Once standing in the hallway again I decided to open another door. A shock wave hit me again causing me to black out.

I woke up to find myself in the big city. It is early evening and it is just starting to get dark. Beautiful sky is reflecting on millions of buildings, making them grow with color.

"Beautiful view, isn't it?" Someone said from behind of me

I turned around and saw Sheldon standing in front of me. Sheldon was my boyfriend who died a year ago.

"It is." I agreed with him

He came to me and hugged me. I responded hugging him tightly. I wish I could freeze like that. Standing in the middle of huge city, feeling his body against mine. We stood there in silence, hugging each other.

"Emory you are going to choke me, I can hardly breathe!" Sheldon interrupted me.

"Sorry." I pulled away from him

"Miss me much?"

"You have no idea..." I said mostly to myself

"See all those buildings, sky, sunset, roads...?"

"Yeah. Beautiful, isn't it?"

"Yes, but you know what is even more beautiful... you." He said pointing at me

"That's not true." I said laughing

"But it is..."

"Not."

"Is."

"Not."

"Is."

"Not."we looked at each other for a moment and started laughing

"There we go, our argument of the day!"

In response I started laughing again. It was just like in the old times, whenever we disagreed on something he would call it an argument of the day.

We were sitting on the top of the building, our hands locked.

"Why are you so sad?" Sheldon asked me out of the sudden

"I was just lost in thought."

"And my goodness, where did that amazing smile of yours went?" He asked in disappointed voice

I smiled in response.

"There we go! Much better. Now, what have you been thinking of?"

"Of us. What are we going to do now? I know you are not real, the moment I wake up you will be gone. I wouldn't be able to touch you, to hear your laughter and your silly jokes. You will disappear in a split of a second and never return again."

Hesitantly, I pulled the door handle. Last one.

I ended up on the bridge.

Flashback:
Millions of voices in my head said Jump. But I hesitated. If I will jump I will die, but if you think - isn't my life worse. How much harder can it get? I got ready to jump, but something stopped me. Someone stopped me. Roxy.

I looked around and saw my twin sister Roxy. She died 2 months ago. She ran to me and gave me a hug.

"It's that bridge, isn't it?" I asked her, looking around

She nodded her head.

"You didn't jump." She said looking at my eyes

"You know, sometimes, I think that I should have. It would've been easier."

"You have a whole life ahead of you. You are stronger than that. "

"I have nightmares all the time...." I looked her into eyes "They are about losing you all. I wake up at the middle of night and cry, while no one can see me. In the morning I have to put a smile on my face and move on, so no one would fire questions at me. Not many would see that it is fake, but what else can I do about it?"

"As you said yourself, you have to move on. You see, I can't come back even if I wanted to. I come back sometimes in your dreams. You know. But I am not sure if it makes anything any better because when you wake up you realize that I am gone. So you have to be strong."

"I try."

"Remember, I believe in you." As she said that she started fading away

"No! Come back! Roxy! "

I started shouting as hard as I could, but it was useless. I dropped on my knees and shouted one more time. Last time. Last time I see her.

"I miss you twinny..." I whispered into the air, but I didn't get response like I did last time

That was last goodbye.

I stood up from my knees. I wasn't in the hallway, but I couldn't see anything. Everything was dark. Suddenly my head started to hurt very bad. I fell down and a long cutting noise filled the air - BEEP.