"I turn my music harder, so I won't hear my thoughts, but it's stupid because the lyrics remind me of what I am trying to forget."
POV Anita:
I turned up my music, trying to escape my thoughts.
"I can still remember the way you looked at me
But I'll soon forget the color of your eyes
I think we are just too scared
To say
'I-I ne-e-ed y-o-u-u by-y my-y si-i-d-e
A-n-d i-t hu-r-t-s me-e a-a-ll i-n-s-i-d-e
...'"
A single tear came down my cheek, feeling cold and foreign. What's wrong with me? How can I be so weak?
I turned the music off and pulled over. I looked at myself and realized that I looked like I haven't slept in ages and cried a lot. So I pulled out my makeup and gradually applied it on my face. After I finished with makeup and let myself to come down I started the engine and gone back to driving.
The moment I entered school, I felt someone grabbing my hand. I was about to jerk it back, but I couldn't.
"Why did you leave?" I saw hurt in his look, but I needed to do this.
" It's not you, it's me. " I said as cold as I could possibly be. But it wasn't so cold, it came out more hurt, than cold.
"What have I done wrong? Why?..." Holden kept asking me questions, but I walked away.
Just walked away. I should've been happy that I was able to force myself to walk away, but I was hurt. It hurt me to be so cold and mean to him. He didn't deserve this, Holden deserved so much better. Something that I can never give him. He deserves someone who will make him happy, not a broken, cold, crazy girl. It's like a hole was punched through my chest and someone kept stabbing and stabbing me. I can't.
I went down the hallway from Holden, but he ran up to me and hugged me. Just hugged me. No questions, no words.
I tried to break free, but he was holding me tight. After couple unsuccessful attempts I pressed into his chest and started crying. I can't resist him.
"I am sorry..." I whispered to Holden.
"So am I..." He whispered back.
"You haven't done anything to apologize for."
"I did. I let you go." After couple seconds he added: " Let's get you home."
He picked me up and went to his car.
"Alright." He said sitting down.
"Alright."I answered.
"Alright."
We turned to face each other and started laughing.
He leaned over to me. Our eyes locked for a minute and Holden's lips found their way to mine. Slowly and gently we kissed. I felt electricity pass through my body at his touch.
Someone lights up a candle, someone lights up a lamp, someone lights up the stars, but someone lights up eyes with happiness, just like Holden lights up mine.
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To be continued...
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