Dear Josh - Josh Dun FanFiction

- emma -

Emma. 

Emma Peterson. 

It's simple, right? 

I have always been told I'm an average person. Average height, average weight, average name, average personality. I'm always told I am too focused on my future and that all I do is talk about what will happen tomorrow, next week or in the years to come. But isn't that what an average human does. After turning 22 it felt like everything had fell into place and I was the happiest person alive.

That happiness hadn't lasted that long.

A few months back I was on a trip with a few friends on the coast in Queensland. Everything was perfect, we went out to different clubs and bars or hung out at the beach all day everyday for 3 weeks. We were out laying on the shore and tanning our skin when my friend noticed some weird mole looking thing on my back. It was a melanoma. Stage three. They told me after the removal, I would be fine. Back to the healthy, happy 22 year old I was yesterday. That I could go spend the summer with my friends they way we planned it. 

They were wrong.

Oh but they were so definitely wrong.

Now, to this present day, I have just been diagnosed with cancer. The cancerous cells had spread to my lungs. Taken over my will to breathe. Soon to take over my will to live. I was forced to take myself out of a university degree that was going to give me the future I dreamed of. Just because my stupid lungs refused to work. Sometimes I could hardly walk up a flight of stairs without feeling like I was going to collapse. I couldn't laugh without my chest filling up with pain shortly after. I taught myself how to not laugh. How to get around the easy way. By not leaving the house at all. I had to move back in with my parents so they could help me get out of bed. I had lost the will to live. I wanted to go. I wanted this cancer to take me down. 

My parents would make me go for walks around the streets near our home so I could keep my strength. I was fitted with a Nasal Cannula to supply me with the oxygen I couldn't supply for myself. It was horrible dragging the oxygen tank around with me everywhere I went. People would stare, they would whisper to the people next to them as I passed. I didn't feel human. Everyone told me to focus on the positives and fight this illness. But this came from humans that had never gone through something like this. I always wanted to scream that I didn't have a common cold, to stop treating it like that. I am dying, its's as simple as that. Every little bit of me is slowly fading away. 

How could I focus on positives when there was nothing to look forward to?