Sometimes You Need To Let Down Your Hair

Chapter 17

       "What's this," mother and I said at the same time. However, we were talking about two very different things. I said the two words with excitement as I looked down at the book in my hands, but mother said them with anger. I looked up to see mother holding the book bag up in confusion. I immediately went into 'damage-control' mode and things seemed to slow down as I tried to figure out a way to get out of the situation. I looked at the bag and realized that the zipper was still sipped up, so she hadn't seen what was inside. I calmly smiled as an excuse formulated in my head.

       I sat the book down on the bed beside me and said, "Don't you remember? I got that from a friend a few years ago. Their parents bought me school supplies because you were a single parent, and you were upset about it." She gave me a curios look, but then seemed to accept my explanation because something did happen like that a few years ago. 

       Mother chuckled and said, "Okay good. For a second I was worried." She then went to put the bag back up on my shelf, but paused. "What's in it though? It's heavy." She turned back to me with the bag in hand, waiting for a response.

       "Just some of my art stuff," I replied nonchalantly, hoping that she wouldn't look inside. 

       However, fate wasn't on my side. Instead of putting the bag back she became excited about my art for once. She flashed me a big smile and exclaimed, "Oh that's great. Iv'e never really had a chance to look at your art!" Then she sat the bag on a chair and started to open it.

       My eyes widened in fear and I practically shouted out, "No! That stuff sucks. I only put my mess ups in there, let me show you the art I'm proud of." Mother mockingly put her hands up and chuckled. I sighed in relief and walked to my closet to pull out my actual art. I grabbed my sketchbook and let my mother sift through the pages. She seemed to like most of it.

       After a few minutes she looked up at me and said, "These are really good." 

       A genuine smile came onto my face despite the worry pushing my heat to beat faster. I said, "thanks mom. That means a lot coming from you."

       She said, "no problem honey. I want to see your so called mess ups though. I feel like that are probably really good." Then before I could tell her no she opened up the bag! The first thing I saw etched on her face was shock. Then, it turned into confusion and anger. "What is this? And do not lie to me again," she said in a cold voice before glaring at me. 

       I didn't know what to say, so I remained silent. Mother had plenty to say though as she rummaged through the bag. She pulled out the rope, computer, and collection of star wars movies before looking back at me. "Cat's got your tongue?" When I didn't respond mother grabbed my wrist and pulled me over. "I will only ask this one more time Willow. Do not test me. Now what is all of this!"

       I tried to pull away my wrist, but mother just tightened her grip. It kind of hurt, so I did something I shouldn't have done. I gave mother a sarcastic answer. I confidently said, "Well that is a rope, a computer, and the complete collection of star wars movies." 

       Mother gave me a stern look and practically growled, "I'm not stupid. I can see what it is!"

       She opened her mouth to speak more, but I beat her to it "Well then why did you ask?"

       Mother glared at me and yelled, "Don't you dare give me that sass young lady! Tell me where you got this, and who it belongs to!"

       Inside myself an internal battle waged. Did I tell her about Lucas and finally come clean, or do I lie and make it worse? I was scared. What would she do when I told her I had a secret friend that had been climbing up into my room every day for the last week? I opened my mouth and a prepared lie was ready to slip off, but I realized I had no reason to be scared. 

       Mother had kept secrets from me. Even bigger ones than this. After all, she never told me I had a sister! I closed my mouth and smiled smugly before whispering, "Tell me your secret first mother."

       She gave me a confused look, but I saw worry flash in her eyes. "What are you talking about Willow," she asked in a softer voice. Almost like she was afraid. Then she looked back at the book-bag and the items on the floor. It was her turn to be smug.

       "Tell me what this is all about and I promise to talk about whatever secret you think I have," she said. She crossed her arms, and I figured that she probably didn't believe that I knew she had been keeping something from me.

       We stared down at each other for a few minutes, but I finally relented.  "They belong to my friend Lucas." She gestured for me to go on, so I did. "He's been my friend ever since I moved here. You aren't ever around, so I needed someone to talk to." 

       "I'm upset that you wouldn't tell me about this, but it still doesn't explain why all of that is here," she said gesturing to the items scattered on the floor. 

       "He didn't think grounding me and locking me in my room was very fair, and I agreed with him. I got in trouble because one of your guests saw me, and I questioned why you lied about me being your daughter. Why is that punishable? Anyway, since I was grounded he decided to make things better. I couldn't go out in the garden and talk to him, so he came to me," I said gesturing to the stuff on the floor. 

       Mother was furious. "You brought a boy up into your room without permission? Next you'll tell me that you went somewhere with him, or sneaked over to his house in the middle of the night!" She screamed. I looked down at the floor and resisted chuckling because I had done those things. She seemed to have caught on, an yelled even more. "How could you? You should be thankful that I have been so generous! Iv'e became a great parent after I got you, but you don't appreciate any of it!!" All a sudden she stopped yelling, and I covered my mouth in shock. 

       "What do you mean, 'since the day you got me?'" I asked.

       Mother's eyes widened in shock and she hurriedly said, "I meant to say since the day you were born." 

       I raised my eyebrow questioningly, "Hmm you also said you became a great parent when you got me. Is that because you weren't one before? Is that why you never told me about your other daughter Ruth?," I asked in a deadly calm voice.

       "How do you know about her, I made sure you'd never find out," mother mumbled, "I never let him see you, and I hid all of her things away in my room." She looked at me and in a louder voice said, "You went through my things? Didn't you, you little ungrateful thief?" 

       I took a step back in shock. "Your mad at me? How do you think I feel? I have a sister that Iv'e never known about!" I asked in a slightly louder voice, "When were you going to tell me about her hmm?"

       "I couldn't! I lost her because I made bad decisions, and I wasn't going to lose you because you found out what I did!!!"

       "What did you do mother? I deserve to know," I yelled out. My calm demeanor was gone, and the anger I had felt boiling up inside me my entire life threatened to break through. I deserved to know why I had forced to be a friendless all of my life, locked away from the rest of the world. I deserved to know what happened to my sister and my father, and I wanted to know why she lied to that man. I thought about Rapunzel being locked away in a tower. The fictional character and I shared many similarities, but I would do something different. I was going to scream and fight with all of my might, and I was going to know why I had been locked away in my sheltered life!