That SELFISH word continuously speaks in my mind and gave me an outraging feeling.
I burst out and furiously answers her.
"Selfish? If I'm selfish I should have get that "lead photographer offer! If I'm selfish I should have not helped you when you catched up in your absences! If I'm selfish I should have not given you my another scholarship when you were removed from the ranking! If I'm selfish I should have answered back Cris! But no, I think of you. I have thought of what would you feel. I have been thinking of what you will feel because believe me O-ne, I know the feeling. If I'm selfish I should have not given up my work in the academics just for you!"I feel my voice grating.
I flare up.
Yeah.
I give up my another scholarship for her, I ask the financial department to give my extra scholarship to her, since I have two scholarship grants that time.
She is stunned.
"You..You did that?" She is stammering.
"Yes O-ne. Since the time you get embarrassed there I just can't stand to work there anymore dealing with those doubtful questions. "
"How come I haven't notice that? Why? You really—"
"Yes. Why? You think I could not give up those?
Why? Because you think I'm selfish.?Yeah..Your younger sister is selfish! I'm always selfish.!"
-SILENCE-
"Not because I don't respond to your sweet stuffs doesn't mean I don't care. Not because I forget our sisters day doesn't mean I do not treasure those. Not because I don't give time doesn't mean you're my least priority. Not because I don't do what you like doesn't mean I don't appreciate those."
Tears are now falling on my cheeks. I just can't contain my feeling. Feels like want to shout out loud.
"I'm not a soft person like you. But O-ne...I'm..I'm not also that hard. I..I..I have also a heart.."
The thought of being a selfish to her consumes and breaks me.
AM I THAT HARSH?AM I THAT CRUEL?
"How I wish I shouldn't have felt this toward you. "
She finally speaks. I see those pearl-shaped tears rolling down on her cheeks too. She hold her head up.
"You know what O-ne? I admire you. I envy you for being so socially mannered to other people. I admire you with those achievements you've had. I look up to you. You're even one of my inspiration for me to be a better student, a better person. I got even influenced with your character without me knowing.
I have learned to... to share,to adjust and..to..to..compromise,to love unconditionally,to..to.. sacrifice..I .. I feel like I'm a better person now. See? I always feel conscious on how I speak, on the things which I should do or don't.I can even manage my relationship to other people well now. Because at times I want to be like you..You have trained me you know.. Now I am doing what I have just thought to do before, because you support me all through the way.
"You're one of a kind O-ne.
I just dont let you know this stuffs cause it might flatters you all the time.. I just cant believe you have brought out these things from me. I hate to say these but you have brought out some of the best things in me.You really just dont know how grateful I am to be your younger sister figure.
My heart speaks the latter.
But I managed to spit out what is on my mind.
" But now that you have asked me why I have to get what are supposed to be yours, ?Maybe because now..We.., we have to be even. "
YOU ARE READING
Amidst the Winter (The Alpha and Omega)
Teen Fiction"Nothing or no one will break us?"Aneko says to her younger sister figure,that's me. "Yeah O-ne."I answer. O-ne is from the Japanese word Onessan,meaning,older sister. But there is that hesitation with in me. The man she has loved has been courting...
