Amidst the Winter (The Alpha and Omega)

Chapter 13(We're back to Zero)

--Mei—

I am at the campus at the moment.I'm feeling distracted the past two weeks.I learned that O-ne has been missing her classes, her friends and classmates are asking her from me. Everytime I visit at their house she's not coming out from her room. She's rejecting my calls, she didn't even bother to read my messages in facebook. It's been 14 days I haven't seen her, and it bothers me.

O-ne is the jolliest woman I've ever known.

She always laugh, and she always try to lighten up everything when things aren't going right. She's the toughest too,for she has overcome lots of hardships in life alone, well, I maybe a part of those, but she has mostly done it alone.

Contradictly, she is one of the most vulnerable person I know,too.She's quite feeble inside. She easily gets hurt, distracted, and affected to small things. It is as if it's the end of the world when she acts.She worries too much.

How ironic right?

BUT NOT THIS TIME.SHE HAS THE REASON TO GET AFFECTED.

My mind speaks.

"Isn't she coming yet?"Aya asks. I'm at the church that time.

"I dunno Aya."

"If I were on her shoe, that would really be depressing.."

She knows it already. I have told her, even Bella and Cris.

"I try to explain but she never gives me the chance."

"I see.Just give her the space then."

I nod.

"Don't worry, everything will be allright. It's just a man. Don't let a man destroy your friendship." she holds my hand.

"Aya, I don't know but I'm feeling guilty. Not because I've done terrible thing but because of what I learned. She's not coming to school, she misses a lot of classes.."

"Let us pray for her, it's a powerful thing."

"I guess you should come with me."Bella asks.She's at my apartment that moment.

"Where?"

"eat, window shopping.."

"Just go.I review my quiz nextweek.."

"It would be next week. You can relax for now. I will review you."

"You know I'm not like that."

"Know what?"

"what?"

"I know you."

"And?"

"You're--"

"I'm not affected."

"Really? Know what? It's not your fault that Cris likes you more than--"

"Shut up."

"But it's your fault that you have kept it from her for that long time."

I stop what I'm doing. I have reflected from what she has said.

"I'm not a perfect best friend. You know also that Aneko and I are not really in good terms. But I can be a neutral one, and when I know you've done something wrong, I'll be the first one to slap that on your face. Sometimes you must be reminded also."

"I'm listening."

"Not all the time you're right Mei. And not all the time Aneko must first do the first move. With in the weeks you're not talking, you really think she'll be the first one to reach you out?"Haven't you observed? She's really hurt. And I guess you must do your part also in that "sisterhood thingy" you have. You have to talk to her first. Do the first move. Don't let that silence continuously distant her from you."

"I've been trying to, but she's not responding.I'm just like a fool."

"That's it. That's what you are. If you think you've done your part, you easily give up on that person. Hello?..didn't you think she was like a fool too when you're ignoring her the times you're not okay?

-SILENCE-

"Does she really means a lot to you?"

"Ofcourse."

"Ouch."She acts as she holds her chest, then she chuckles.

"Then why do you have to keep that from her, for a long time?"

I keep silent.

"Sometimes you just have to trust. If you have trusted her and told her the first time, maybe at first she would react and gets mad. But it doesn't mean she will hate you forever..I think the thing that outraged her is that you have kept that for long. "

Is this really Bella? I'm beginning to get hurt with her truthful words.

"You just have to trust her too. You have to trust the people you love, around you. You didn't believe that she will not hate you for long when you would tell it to her. You just thought she'll get mad, forever, just like that. Sometimes you just have to believe and trust completely, because trust is the number one foundation of any relationship."

I'm speechless.

"I gotta go."

"Bella.."

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

I am about to enter the canteen that time when I see O-ne walking along the park. She's alone. I ran after her. We really need to talk.

"O-ne let me explain."I cling my arms to hers.

She just looks at me from my head to toe. removes her arm from my cling, and walks as if she doesn't hear me.Some of the students there look at me.I feel embarassed.

I feel that burnt feeling on my chest.Maybe this was also what she felt when I was doing that to her.

"Aneko let's talk!"I shout.When I'm getting pissed of,  I call her on her name.

She stops.

"What more will you explain?"She faces me.I can see the pain in her eyes.

"He courted me when you're in Japan."

"And you didn't even inform me?"

"I thought you're staying there for good. Besides I don't have plan to answer him back because I know you like him."

"But you let him get close to you"

"But you're the one who told him to look after me."

"Because I know you'll not do a thing that will hurt me.!"

I don't like this. She's already raising her voice. Good thing it's already past 5:00 in the evening.

"So you like him?"There's a sarcasm tune in her voice.

"I don't. He's just a big brother to me."

"Don't fool me Mei! I should have not told him to watch over you. You're a--! "

"a what?Aneko  I'm a what?a bitch?You should have thought of that idea before you let him look after me. You know he likes me!

-SILENCE-

I can't control myself either. She's already shouting at me.It is as if I'm not talking to my older sister.

"Why do you always have to remind me of that huh?"her voice cracks.

"O-ne.."

"You know this feeling huh? It really sucks! Why do I feel like I have to compete with you? To compete with my sister?!"

SILENCE.

"Why do you always have to get what I should have. You have everything. You're now the apple of the eye in the campus.You are versatile, you can dance,you're talented. You can do everything. You have good and nice family around."

My face frowns.

WHAT DOES SHE TELLING?

"Why do you always have to get what I should have? You already have it all. Your always like that! Your ..you..selfish.."