(My friend helped me write this and she added in the Impractical Jokers, cuz why not)
After a long night of fucking and hay hitting Elliot and Liv were just chilling' in bed, but Liv wanted something. "El, can we go to that donut shop in Staten Island?" "Olivia you're gonna get the sugar biadedes if you keep eating donuts. You're gonna get fucking fat and I'm gonna have to get another cardboard cutout to be my wife!" Elliot said angrily. Olivia looked at him confused "When did we get married?" "Oh, when you were asleep I had a priest come in and marry us. Don't worry I invited Mandy, Sandra, Fin, Fluffy, and B D Wong." "Okayyy. Anyway we have to go to that donut shop because this one guy I arrested for raping a girl and selling bath salts told me they really speak to you." Elliot thought about it and decided "Alright let's go now because I feel like sunshine!" They went outside to get on the jet ski. Elliot got on and said in a gentlemenly manner "Hop on my trusty jet ski malady." She did and he started riding to Staten Island. About halfway through the ride Liv started getting cold and asked "Elliot why didn't we put our clothes on before we came out?" Elliot put his hands on Olivia's boobs because she was driving and said "Here I'll do this so you don't get frostbite. And I felt like sunshine so we had to go asap, duh."
(TIME SKIP)
They arrived at the donut shop 5min late because they had to buy some clothes at Louis Vuitton. When they went in there they bought 69 donuts with Monopoly money. Olivia took the first bite of the donut and started moaning "OMG this tastes sooooooooo good like daaaaayyyyyyyuuuuummmm!!!!!!" Elliot giggled "Liv you like you're having an orgasm." Another voice chimed in "That was something you could never give me Elliot." Elliot looked over at the woman he hated the most, Kathy. The Nam-like flashbacks of her hit him harder than the first plane that hit the Twin Towers. "KATHY HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FIND M!?" "I had an informant who was with you every day since you moved to the mountains tell me where you were." Elliot gasped "Fluffy how dare he! He was actually a human!" Kathy smirked. Elliot calmed down "Why are you here though?" "I'm here to kill you!" Kathy pulled out an AK-47." "Come near me or Liv and I'll steal your ovaries bitch." Before Kathy said anything Liv said "Elliot, Imma call someone I know can help."
2.7 seconds after Olivia made the call something crashed through the ceiling of the donut shop. Ya'll know who I'm talking about, CAPTAIN FATBELLY!!! Elliot looked at Captain Fatbelly and yelled "Kill that wet sandwich of a woman!!!" Captain Fatbelly rolled his eyes at Kathy "You wanna come on lady? This is the second time someone has called me about you." "Shut up you big nosed fat fuck!" "ALRIGHT! THATS IT!" Captain Fatbelly yelled in anger. He grabbed 4 donuts from the counter. 3 of them which he ate, and 1 that he threw in slow motion to hit the gun out of Kathy's hand. It worked, but when the donut hit the gun it triggered at angle that it hit the homeless shaggy-haired looking worker's paper bag hand puppet. Captain Fatbelly grabbed the gun and flew away to his Fortress of Fatitude. The worker started giving the puppet CPR and yelling "COME BACK TO ME! COME BACK TO ME!!!" Elliot started crying because it was so sad. Olivia went over to the man and his puppet and said "It's ok. I'm from the Special Victims Unit and you seem to be a "Special Victim" my husband and I can take you and your puppet to the ICU." Right before the man was about to thank her Kathy yelled "YOUR HUSBAND!? WHEN THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN!?" She began walking towards Liv, but Elliot was quick. He took her ovaries. "I told you if you went near her, I'd take your ovaries." Kathy screamed and ran, but Captain Fatbelly swooped down and took her to jail. Liv smiled "Awww, thanks El!" She kissed him. The worker cleared his throat "Stop this fuckery! We are losing precious time to save my friend!" Elliot sighed "Fine, let's go."
They all got on the jet ski and drove to the hospital. El and Liv dropped the worker off and sped back to the cabin not wanting to be with that bath salted up man any longer.
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Ovaries. That's all you need to know 😊
