When Elliot woke up, he just wasn't feeling right. Maybe it's because of the dead hamster in his prostate, but we'll just gloss over that, so he can go on an adventure.
He got out of bed and went to the bathroom to take a mondoduke, it got Evan out. Elliot went into the livingroom to find Olivia sitting on the couch and said "Liv I Want you to suck my dick, kkk?" Olivia said "Aight, leggo my eggo." So she got on her knees and then Elliot whipped out his pack of goldfish and started eating them while she sucked his lollipop ;). After that he got hungrier and he looked over at Olivia sitting on the couch not making him a sandwich. "Hey, Liv go make me a sandwich." Olivia whipped around and said "No, do it yourself foggot." Elliot got frustrated and held his hands like the DBZ guys and yelled "BY THE POWER OF TRUMP GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH! GO PUSSY GRABBER!" The Hamburger Helper hand swooped over and grabbed Liv by the pussy and picked her up and brought her into the kitchen. And that's how you get a sandwich made fellas ;). When she brought it in for him she said "I'm sorry, but we don't have that goat milk you like." Elliot shoved the sandwich down his throat and broke the plate "Diddly dingus FUCK! I guess I gotta go milk Janice (the goat)."
As Elliot went to go find Janice on his jet ski, Liv went to go play Pedophile Go in the city. She's on the highest level with a record of 56 PedoStaches. Elliot has been going around a tree for a while now because he's convinced Janice is hiding in it. He got out his KFC spork and spilt open the tree "GOAT MILK?!" He yelled as Janice hopped out. He got her and tried to milk her. After 2 minutes nothing came out, so he looked under her "Well, fuck me with a tic tac, Janice is a male." He huffed out angrily through his nose. "Janice! You transgender whore!" He then cut her up with the KFC spork, put her into his Easy-Bake Oven, and ate her.
Elliot started jet skiing again and saw an owl perched on a branch of a tree. He stopped and said up to the owl "Howdy there beird of prey!" The owl saw him waving like a wackjob and said "You've Been talking to animals for a while now, haven't you? How the fuck are you still alive?" Elliot stopped waving and put on a thinking face
"Hmmm, IDK (yes he said I-D-K) I just know the animals love me and if they don't, I kill them or eat them." The owl put on its monocle and said "Stop it get some help. Go to this therapist I know in the city. Her name is Linda." Elliot was about to leave when this little girl came over to them and said "Hello mister owl." The owl said "Why would you talk to a strange animal in the middle of the woods?" The little girl was going to say something, but Elliot beat her to it "Yeah, you idiot he could kill you." The little girl said "But he wouldn't do that cuz I'm just a little girl." Those were her last words because the owl swooped down and ripped her face off then flew away. "Well, shite." Elliot said. He hopped on his jet ski and made his way into Manhattan.
Once he got into the city he was going to go to the therapist first thing, but he got caught up in a drug ring. He had to go some places with Ray Ray, then he double-crossed Ray Ray, so now if Ray Ray come round these parts you don't go snitchin' like no bitch does you? He finally got to the therapist building thing and jet skiied up the stairs and then went in the office. Elliot sees Linda and is like "So, shrink what's the stitch????????" Linda looked up from the porno magazine she just chucked out the window and said "Huh? Oh, well yes you are totally cured!" Elliot got superduper happy and leaped like Peter Pan in joy "Danke Lin!!! I have only been here 15.3 seconds and I'm already cured." Linda got out a permanent marker and wrote TC on his hand. Elliot looked at it in cunfufflement "Woah what's this?" Linda put on her monocle and said "That means you can get free cookieguac at any Mexican bakery you go to." Elliot threw some monopoly money at her then was on his way to jet ski to a Mexican bakery.
On his way there he spotted Olivia violently shooting a guy who looked like a pedophile. Elliot shouted at her "Hop on sugartits!" Liv smiled and got on "Hi, El what's good?" Elliot said nothing and made the vroom vroom noise for the jet ski to go fast to the bakery. Back in the mountains at Mandy's cabin, she and B D Wong were looking everywhere where for Elliot and Olivia, but couldn't find them. So to summon them Mandy started hopping around in a circle with B D clapping and saying "ELLIOT MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE ELLIOT MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE!" She started thinking of where he could be "B D Elliot is probably at the dirty Mexican bakery." She stood in the form of a velociraptor and B D Wong got on top and said "HI HO Mandy!" Mandy said "Gotta blast!" Then smirked at the camera crew and ran down the hill screeching.
The gang got to Fartata Señor Pepe at the same time, talk about besties ammiright? Mandy and B D got a table for all four of them then Elliot went up to the cashier dude and said "Hey you see this *points to TC on hand* this let's me get free cookieguac at any Mexican bakery, so gimme." The cashier who was someone you'd never thought you'd see again.......SAN JUAN smiled evilly and handed Elliot some cookieguac with a spoon. He sat down at the table with everyone and took a spoonful. Everything was fine for a little until his head started pounding and he looked around at everyone. Elliot noticed that all the people in the bakery were people he saw from previous days. Fluffy, the Devil, the squirrel, Jake from State farm, and the coonbear were sitting at a table and talking. Sandra, Fin, Captain Fatbelly, the worker from the donut shop, and Witch Tom Cruise were doing shots of choccy milk tequila. Kathy was sitting at a table by herself cuz she's a bitchfuck nippletrash. Vladimir, the Nazi zombies, and the Hamburger Helper were sitting at a table eating tequila worm cookies. The boys from the yard that took Olivias milkshakes were there drinking her milkshakes. And last, but not least Andy was sitting at a table with his Thompson talking to it like a lunatic.
They started chanting all together "ELLIOT MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE ELLIOT MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE ELLIOT MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE ELLIOT MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE ELLIOT MOOSE IS ON THE LOOSE." And then Elliot woke up in his hospital bed.
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Plot twist 😏. This chapter is extra long because it's the second to last chapter to this glorious book.
