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SEPTEMBER 4TH, 1985
DEAR DIARY,
Jamie started school today. I was so proud of him! He wasn't scared at all. He waved goodbye to me, all happy and cheery, and then ran in with all the other kids.
Millie said it was because me, her, and a few of the other moms had been raising our kids around each other, and I could possibly see that. Having this quiet life here in England is nice. I've partly wanted to live somewhere nice and quiet, and with Jamie, I can.
David comes to visit us a few times a year. Basically whenever he can. But I haven't seen Bucky/Win at all since our last meeting, when we burned out my hormones. And it worked! I haven't aged a day in the last two years. How odd, right?
Anyway. I've sort of been picking up on their accents here, and it's fun. I've always had a thing for accents. Millie says I should try and start flirting with Tom, who lives next door, but he's four years younger than me, and I don't like my men younger than me. Just because he's attractive, and flirts with me often, doesn't mean I want him. I've honestly only wanted Bucky. And Jamie's father, but I don't like thinking about that. Every now and then, I reflect on that forehead kiss. Or, "I'll always hang on with you." And the fact that Bucky said he would repay me with something one day in the future.
I've noticed that he's managed to get out of Win mode when he's around me. And I'm so glad that he's managed to get out that for me. Maybe it's that toxin I planted in his neck a few years ago? That toxin was supposed to clear his mindset more. So then his brain would be his to use. And it looks like it's worked.
I need to go pick up Jamie from school, but I hope I'll remember to write in here again.
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SEPTEMBER 6TH, 1985
DEAR DIARY,
Should I even call you 'diary'? Well, whatever.
Jamie has been doing so well in school! Millie and I went out to town today, and we went shopping. I got some shoes, and some candy. I've recently discovered I'm allergic to chocolate! How awful, right? My doctor, Doctor Jill, said it had something to do with my hormones, and asked me if I had known they had been messed up (almost beyond repair, she said). I lied and said, "My stepfather used to abuse me, and one time tried to electrocute my mother and I—she died and I didn't. But he died in jail. So I don't have to worry about him anymore." Kind of uncreative, huh?
Millie though, she LOVES chocolate. It's her absolute favorite. But I think my favorite food would have to be grapes. I've never had fruit before really, and I've been learning lots of recipes. Millie recently told me that she's been crushing on our new neighbor, Delaney, and I supported her. When we had met, she had told me right away that she was a girl-only type of person. Even though she was married. And I could understand that. I mean, no one but Millie knows this, but I'm a girl and guy person.
Jamie's home now, he's taking a nap currently. He loves this home so much, and our TV plays his favorite show—Sesame Street. When those weird costumed people dance around the screen in their costumes, it makes him so happy and he laughs and giggles and dances around the living room with them.
I went to the store earlier, and found a stuffed animal version of Big Bird, his favorite. I surprised him with it for doing so well in school, and played with it all afternoon. But what he doesn't know, is that I bought Grover, Cookie Monster, AND Elmo. He'll be so excited for Christmas.
Alright, it's getting late and I should get to bed. It's ten till midnight, so goodnight!
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SEPTEMBER 18TH, 1985
DEAR DIARY,
David stopped by for dinner last night, and told me that Bucky desperately wants to come visit, and I look forward to when he can. When he does.
David and Jamie love each other, and I'm glad I could fill in the role of Rebecca. And I'm glad he can fill in the role of my father. David's better at being a parent than my father ever was. And even though Rebecca was a stillborn, he says I'm a great daughter. Sometimes I think he forgets we're not biological. And I feel bad, because I kind of wish we were, but then I would have never met Bucky and had Jamie, so I always thank the forces in the universe for letting me have such a tragic life so then I could have Jamie and Bucky in my life.
As of right now, Jamie's at preschool, and I'm making cookies. Millie and Betsy came over yesterday, and the three of us watched the movies Betsy brought over, since Jamie would be over at one of his friend's houses. We watched two of the Star Wars movies, and holy shit! How have I missed out on such great movies?? Millie agreed that after we finished Star Wars we could start on Indiana Jones, which has Harrison Ford in it (like in Star Wars. He plays Han Solo) and maybe after that we could start watching a TV show called Cheers. Jamie has also been coming home mumbling songs that Michael Jackson sings (he's a famous singer I've discovered), and it's so cute.
Cyndi Lauper has become one of my favorite singers—along with Jamie's—and we went down to the record the other day and bought some tapes to listen to.
The timer for my cookies is about to go off, so I better go pay attention to the stove and pray I didn't burn the cookies (or the house)!
— CYNTHIA
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OCTOBER 25TH, 1985
DEAR DIARY,
We got Jamie's costume today. He's going to be a knight, it's so cute! It sucks that he doesn't remember Bucky—because if he did, he would probably like his metal arm. Jamie's going through a "fantasy phase" right now. His favorite movie is Sleeping Beauty because of Prince Philip.
Betsy, Millie, and I finished Star Wars and our Indiana Jones marathon, and now I've just been watching Cheers often. Cheers, and Police Academy. I've been taking movie suggestions from the workers at the local video store that just opened up.
I'm actually pretty well adjusted to having a normal life—Jamie and I have been living here for the last year, and I think moving here was a great choice, even if I was super nervous for it.
I need to go to bed now, because I stayed up late to finish watching this episode of Cheers that I recorded and to write this journal entry.
