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MAY 4TH, 2000
THE FUNERAL CYNTHIAhad attended for Peggy's husband was short.
She had brought Jamie with her, then two sitting close to Peggy and her family. But what Cynthia hadn't expected to see at the funeral service was Beck. The two had made eye contact, but neither had tried making any sort of contact.
She had warily put her hand on Jamie's arm, who squeezed her hand reassuringly when he saw Beck as well. After the service was over, Beck was gone as quickly as he came. He must have been caught between both HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. like David had been.
Cynthia poured herself a glass of wine, then poured one for Jamie and handed it to him. Jamie's eyes widened, and Cynthia just shushed him. The ceremony afterwards had everyone quiet, and Cynthia and Jamie started walking over towards the display that held pictures of Peggy's husband. Peggy had left right when the service ended, so Cynthia wasn't able to pay respect to her.
"Did you know him?" Jamie asked quietly, leaning over to his mother. Cynthia shook her head in response, finishing up her wine. Jamie couldn't finish his, so he dumped it out and then the two left, going back to the house they had had since Cynthia's return.
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The four of them sat down at the table for their lunch, and Jamie blurted out spontaneous news.
"I want to enroll in the military," Jamie blurted.
Cynthia froze, her fork stuck in mid-air. "You want too . . . What?" Millie barked.
"Jamie, don't," Maisie said, shaking her head. Her curly hair hung in a high ponytail, and she instinctively went to tighten it. "You don't . . . Have to prove yourself to anyone."
"Jamie, I'm not allowing you to do that," Cynthia said, putting her fork down on her plate. The lot were all eating pasta, made by Maisie and Jamie that night. "I don't want you doing that to yourself."
"Mom, I just want to go into the military," Jamie tried to explain. "I wanna be worth something."
"You're worth the entire world, Jamie," Cynthia snapped. Her tone went from angry to exasperated. "If you go into the military, you could die!"
"I'll die a hero!"
"No, you won't!" Millie exclaimed. "Bucky was a hero, mom was hero," Jamie angrily argued.
"Oh, we were not heroes. We were the exact opposite." Cynthia explained, her voice shaking. Her eyes teared up as she said, "Jamie, I'm not keeping you from the military to bully you, I'm trying to keep you safe."
"Please, listen to auntie Cynthia," Maisie said to Jamie, putting her hand on his. Jamie's face was hard, and he said, "Why can't you just let me do what I want?"
Taking his hand from Maisie's, he got up from the table and left the dining room. "I'm gonna go talk to him. He needs to actually know why he can't." Cynthia explained, getting up from the table as well. She silently followed him to his room. Cynthia knocked on the door gently, and Jamie asked, "Who is it?"
"It's me," Cynthia replied. She heard Jamie sigh, and then the door unlocked, then opened. He put one hand through his short hair while the other held the door open, and Cynthia followed him in. She closed the door behind them, saying, "I was fourteen when my mom died."
Jamie sat on the bed, frozen. "I was only a year younger than you are now when my father, Stephen, found out about the Winter Soldier."
"I thought David was your father," Jamie turned, looking at his mother and furrowing his eyebrows. "I'll get to that," Cynthia said, coming over and sitting on the bed next to him.
"My father had no relations to HYDRA—only the military. And when he found out about the assassin, HYDRA's Winter Soldier, he became obsessed with him. He wanted his own soldier. And since he had killed his wife three years before, he only had one person to do his experiments on. Me.
"I was seventeen when Bucky came that night, killing Stephen on his orders, and attempting to kill me as well. But before he could try and kill me, I managed to break him out of Winter Soldier mode, and help me get to the final process of my training. My father thought it was the same serum that made Captain America, but he was wrong. It was a healing power—I had read about it in his study, when he was asleep and I still had enough willpower in me to walk around the house at night.
"The healing power saved me that night. I sent Bucky back into Winter Soldier mode, not realizing that he wouldn't just let me go. Bucky . . . Tried to kill me, in a gruesome way. He left me that night, thinking I was dead, until two years later, he broke into my apartment to confront me. I ended up working with him a few times. Not that many, but I stopped right when I became pregnant with you. That's . . . That's something I don't like talking about. Because I never wanted HYDRA to ever find him. But, let me continue.
"I had fallen in love with Bucky when I saw him taking care of you one night in my apartment when he came to visit. He was so gentle with you, so careful. But when HYDRA found out about me, he gave me a new identity to protect me—I'd pretend I was the alive daughter of S.H.I.E.L.D. member David Barlow. His real daughter, Rebecca, had died as stillborn. David and I ended up developing a father-daughter like relationship, which is why he was so present in your life.
"But when HYDRA found out that I really wasn't Rebecca Barlow, I was Cynthia Hayes, they set out to find me, and would kill anyone who got in their way. That included you, Millie, and Maisie. They killed David the night I arrived on their base—and I was forced to do awful things. The only person in there that helped me stay mostly sane was one of my guards, Beck. He was the guy I kept staring at today. He's a good guy, but he was just put in horrible situations, like me.
"But then I got out—and we were reunited. And I've done everything in my power to keep us safe—Like change our names legally. To me, you're James. But legally, you're Xavier. You've been Xavier since you were born. And HYDRA has slight connections to the military now, which is why I'm trying to keep you out."
When Cynthia finished, tears were both going down her and Jamie's faces, and he looked over at her, and said, "Mom, I never-I never realized . . . "
"You didn't know," Cynthia assured him. "You were too young to know."
Jamie nodded, understanding it now. "I can see why you don't want me in the military. HYDRA won't stop until you're dead, will they?"
"No, they most likely won't. Unless they'll try and make me like Bucky." Cynthia leaned up against the wall, and said, "Bucky was born in 1920s, from what I know. Did you know that? I was born in 1962."
"Really?" Jamie turned, looking at his mother. "Well, for you, that would make sense, but for Bucky, I didn't expect that one."
Cynthia huffed out a laugh, and said, "A few days before I got his letter that HYDRA knew, I wanted to marry him. I still sort of do."
"I think I remember you telling me this, a long, long, time ago." Jamie replied.
"Yeah; You asked, 'Why not?' And I had to say, 'Because people don't want us too.'"
"Do you think Bucky will be free one day?" Jamie asked, and Cynthia replied, "I hope so. And I hope I'm the one to do it."
