My Best friend

Chapter 12

I've made you wait long enough. Here you go. Might be a long one.

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*DJ pov.*

Kathy just stands in the doorway. She looks at my bleeding arms, then into my eyes which are still filled with tears. She doesn't say anything. She just gets down in front of me, and pulls me to her in a hug. I can feel her crying slightly.

I bury my face in her shoulder and cry harder. I can't believe she has to see me like this. Doing this to myself.

"I'm horrible." I whisper. Kathy pulls away and looks at me.

"What are you talking about?" She asks shocked. I wipe my eyes with my hands which ultimately does nothing since tears are still falling.

"I let you see me like this. My arms and...just...I-I'm so s-sorry Kathy. I'm just so horrible." I pull my legs up to my chest and bury my face in my arms. I don't hear Kathy for a while.

Maybe she left?

Good, I wouldn't blame her. Now she doesn't have to deal with me and my stupidness.

I feel a hand on my shoulder. I look up through my tears to see Kathy sitting there, but with first aid supplies now. She smiles sadly and holds out her hand. I figure out what she wants. I slowly move my arm and let her hold it.

She gently starts cleaning off the cuts and says, "You are not horrible, DJ. Understand me?". I nod but keep looking down. She puts some type of cream on the cuts, the wraps white bandages over them. Then does something that slightly makes me come back to reality.

She leans down and kisses both of my arms where the cuts are. I blush a little. My crying stopping at the moment. "You," she continues with teary eyes, "are the best person, I know. Nothing and no one, could ever convince me otherwise. Because your my best friend. And when you hurt," she pauses and gently touches the bandages, "I hurt too.". We're both crying by this point.

What she said was so nice. But...

I still don't deserve it.

"Kathy," I say shakily, "you shouldn't say that. I don't deserve it. I don't." She tries to say something.

"Of course you-"

I interrupt, "No! I don't Kathy! I've done so many- I've caused so much pain to- I deserve it all!". She looks at me slightly confused and angry.

"Then tell me damn it!" She yells, "God, DJ tell me! Why do you deserve it? I've told you, I'm your best friend, your supposed to tell me when something's wrong so tell me! WHAT HAPPENED!?!?"

"YOU LEFT!"

Her eyes widen in shock and hurt. But I keep going. I can't help it now. So here it goes.

"You left" I say, "that's what happened. After that, my world fell apart Kathy. You really wanna know what happened while you were gone?". She nods her head slowly and takes a deep breath, preparing herself. I do the same, then begin.

"After you left. Things were fine. It was lonelier without you but, I still had Ryan at least. Back then anyway. Summer was still different without you though. Not as fun. Until my dad came home from where he was stationed. He got to spend an entire month with us Kathy. Me and mom were so happy. We spent most of that month redecorating the club house, going out to dinner and the movies. Just good old fashion family stuff. It was great." I pause, wiping tears that started falling again.

"But like all great things, it had to end. He had to head back. We said goodbye and he left again. He only had three more months to go. Three. But he...he n-never came home." Kathy gasps and tears fall down her face. "He died saving other soldiers from a bomb. Threw himself on top of it they told us. He got the purple heart. I keep it with me all the time." I move my arm to show her the bracket I always wear. It's my dads purple heart I had turned into a bracelet.

"I keep it to remind me of him. And also to remember to always protect others like he did. So, you can only imagine how hard sixth grade was. You'd think kids would have more sympathy when you've just lost your dad. Not bullies. They see it as ammunition.".

Kathy puts her hand on top of mine, waiting for me to continue.

"Seventh grade was when the bullying really started. Kids would push me around, call me names. The older ones would actually beat me behind the school. I would go home feeling horrible about myself. Grandma would offer to call the school and complain but I convinced her that it was always an accident."

Kathy says, "Wait, DJ. You told me about your dad but...what happened to your mom? Where is she when you were getting beat up?"

I chose back even more tears metier answering, "She died too.". Kathy gasps again hugs me. I keep going.

"We were in the car. She was taking me to a therapist office because she thought I might have depression after what happened with dad. I was arguing with her saying I didn't want to go. I distracted her. It's my fault." I feel Kathy shaking her head. I ignore it and continue.

"We swerved off the road and...there was a tree...a branch...the windshield, it..." I could only manage a few words, "After...after mom died, that's when the bullying had started. By eighth grade though, I could tell I was almost at that breaking point. And then..."

I can't believe what I'm about to tell her.

"It happened. I snapped. This one kid, pushed past me in the parking lot after school. Then he said 'oh sorry. Didn't mean to run into you. Don't kill me because of it'. It wasn't even that bad of an insult or anything. But people knew how I'd been arguing with her before the crash. He knew it would get to me. And boy, it sure did.".

"I tackled him. Punched him. Pretty sure I broke his nose on the first punch. Then I found the pocket knife that fell out of his jacket. I grabbed it, held it above my head and then he whispered, 'go ahead. Make your murder count two.'. When he said that I stopped and looked up at everyone looking at me. They looked scared. Of me. I realized what I almost did."

"I almost killed him Kathy. I still can't believe it to this day. But I dropped the knife. And I ran home, locked myself in my room, and you know what I did Kathy?"

Kathy shakes her head, "what?"

"I tried to kill myself." Kathy doesn't gasp this time. No sound comes out of her mouth. Her jaw just drops and then she hugs me tighter than before.

"I'll spare you the details. To be honest I don't really remember most of them. I remember waking up in the hospital with my grandma crying in a chair next to me. She hugged me and told me how much she loved me. She made me promise to never hurt myself again. I broke that promise a couple of times. I was given antidepressants by my doctor and ever since then, I've been the quiet kid in the back."

"Then you show up. And for the first time in a long time,I feel happy. And that scares me.". Kathy looks up at me.

"Why does it scare you?"

"Because everyone who makes me happy leaves. One way or another."

"I won't leave you DJ. I promise."

"How can you be so sure of that?"

"Because like these necklaces say. We're best friends. Nothing will ever change that.".

"Kathy, you don't know what your doing. Now that I've told you all of this it's going to be harder for me to act normal." She doesn't know what she's getting herself into.

"Normals boring anyway." She says.

"I might not want to join in on a lot of things."

"That's fine."

"I have panic attacks sometimes that are hard to deal with."

"And I'll be right there to help you deal with them."

I sigh and laugh a bit. "Your really determined about this aren't ya?"

"Yup." She says as I give her another hug. "Your stuck with me. Forever.".

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Yes yes. I did cry writing this.one not just tears in my eyes. Huge, anime water fall tears gushing out of my eyes and pouring down my face! Well, hope you enjoyed this chapter, and learning DJ past.

Until we meet again my friends!
-Sierra＼(^o^)／