Roommates

PART 12 : dessert

Sienna's P.O.V

We arrived to Bill's and I took a final deep breath as we left the cab.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Ryan asks, still spooked by my episode in the car.

A turned a dark shade of crimson. I was so embarrassed by my mini panic attack, he was probably going to think I'm always a nervous wreck.

"I'm fine, I just got nervous because I realised my internship starts tomorrow." I lied. But he nodded, so it meant I had gotten away with it.

He had a table reserved so we sat down at it together and I picked up the menu to look at what was there.

We both stayed silent as we did this. From behind the menu, I peered at the place around me. It was a very typical show-off your riches place. Everyone was dressed perfectly, looking as high class as possible. Conversations never got over a level or murmuring, and the occasional hearty laugh. It was dimly lit for privacy, and the decorations probably cost as much as it would cost to build a small town.

Ryan cleared his throat. "How do you like New York so far?"

I could feel the awkwardness build like a wall between us. Even though we had gotten used to each other at home, and we could joke about a bit and then leave each other alone. Out here, we had to sit and talk to one another, face to face. All the things we had said the past few weeks seemed like they didn't exist, like it was a fresh slate.

"It's nice here, it's so huge, so many people too. I keep getting lost." I laughed, being carried away by my thoughts.

Ryan looks up, shocked to see my mood change so quick I'm guessing. I decided this fresh slate and this wall of awkwardness was the best thing that could have happened, and that I'm making us equals now, I'm not the kind of girl he thinks he can trick into falling in love with him, and breaking my heart because he'll never feel the same.

I'm not sure what sparked this, maybe it was seeing Chelsie so destroyed by him, I was cautious of that happening to me. I had always been the kind of person to catch on fast, that's why I got picked for the internship I'm guessing. I just knew that I had to put a guard up around Ryan, and that it had to start now while he wasn't his usual cocky self.

"It's great though, so much nicer than my hometown. It makes me really excited." I smiled at him, leaving him to catch up with me. He still thought I was a blubbering mess, and on the inside I completely was, in fact my hands were shaking under the table, but he didn't need to know that.

Ryan's P.O.V

A million thoughts raced around my head as I looked at the girl across from me. She sat smiling, cheekily almost, when two minutes ago she couldn't Ben breathe by herself. What happened?

She struck me as a wide eyed, naïve girl from the South. Who came here with a bag full up hopes and dreams and was going to end up getting crushed by the cruel world. And that's how I had her pictured. And it was mostly the same now, other than the fact that was good at stepping up to the plate. So maybe she knew now what she wanted and how she was going to get it. That's what happened.

I felt like we had been running a race and I thought I was winning, maybe she let me think that. And now she had overtaken me, and I'm left trailing behind, wondering how I didn't see this coming. I felt like I was the naïve one now, and she was the cocky one. I was so concerned with her being okay, I let my guard down and I was scared she might not be, but she's better than ever now.

We chatted nonchalantly throughout dinner, my confidence still shaking in a corner. I didn't really know how she did that, made me feel like I had made her feel since she got here. I didn't like it, not at all. But a part of me wanted to one up her again, and be back as the confident one, and that's what I was going to do.

Sienna's P.O.V

Ryan stayed quite quiet throughout dinner. I didn't realise properly why I had done until I didn't see him look me in the eye once. What had I done? I thought I was making it equal, giving him a taste of his own medicine, but it turns out I think I knocked his confidence and now I was the confident one. Funny, because I didn't feel like I was. I shoved all my anxiousness down deep inside and tried to act calm and collected like I wasn't phased by what just happened. But maybe he was phased by it, it probably freaked him out, and he was too full of himself to say so. I was a freak to him, and I would've never thought that was a good thing until now. Now he was left confused and I was in control.

Ryan's P.O.V

She had me spooked. I didn't know how she could just act alright after what had happened. I didn't know caring had such an effect on me. I didn't like it. And then I realised my big mistake, something that I should've realised from the beginning.

Why did I care?

I never care, about girls, about anyone. But since she moved in, all wide eyed and excited about everything, I cared. I didn't act like I did, but I did. I cared of what she thought of me, how she saw me. I didn't know why I cared, but I knew this wasn't good. I had let myself slip, and now I was where I never wanted to be, and I also had these feelings I thought I had buried long ago.

She sat across from me, smiling still. Looking at a desserts menu. And I wondered what she thought of me at this very moment. And that's how I knew I was in trouble. I was on the other side of the game I played.