Voices T.W. UNDER REVISION

2.02- Revised

The house still smells of delectable homemade alfredo sauce and garlic bread. After a delicious dinner, Josh ran a hot shower for me. I could get used to this.

"The shower is ready, call me if you need anything." He announces from the upstairs bathroom.

I rush upstairs, I'm excited for my much needed shower.

"Thank you." I reply.

His brows furrow. He stops in his tracks on the stairs. For once in our lives, we are the same height. It's nice to be able to look him in the eye for a change.

"It's not a problem, I'm going to throw a load of laundry in if you need me."

As he walks down the stairs, his arm brushes against mine. I gasp as I am sent into a vision.

Everything is so vivid. The colors are blinding. This is different than my normal visions. Those have all been in black and white, all of the deaths I've relived have been in black and white.

"We have to go, now!" I scream. "We can hide in the basement!"

"Remember, Care, I love you!" He screams. "You hide, I'll distract them!"

"Josh, wait!"

I stumble backwards as I am thrown out of the vision. What the hell?

Josh grips my arms within his large palms.

"What happened, are you okay?" He asks.

He can't know I had a vision. We have them under control now, but it's still draining. It's draining not only mentally, but physically as well. I mean, half the time, my visions push my body around.

Sometimes I'll end up on the floor or I'll wake up in a cold shower or in the middle of a field. It was fun trying to explain to the deputy, who is a friend of my dads, that I was not high or drunk and I must've 'sleepwalked' to the field.

So making excuses to downgrade the magnitude of my visions is the least of my problems.

"Yeah, I think so. I uh, I had a dizzy spell. I'm okay, though."

Lying is a lot easier than trying to explain what just happened. Especially because I'm not entirely sure what just happened.

I walk towards the bathroom. I just need a hot shower to decompress.

"You know you can talk to me, right?" He asks.

"Yeah, of course. I'm okay now." I gently reply with a quick smile.

I shut the bathroom door behind me. I rest my back against the door for a moment and take a few deep breaths.

I undress and get into the shower. Steaming hot water cascades down my cold skin. The goosebumps slowly melt away under the stream of water.

I close my eyes and sigh.

A faint scream grabs my attention. But which scream will it be this time? Lydia screaming for Aiden? Allison? Her own life? Will it be Mom screaming that Stiles is trying to kill her? Will it be my frequent nightmare that dad blames me for mom's death and shoots me point blank?

I think it's safe to say, this isn't my first time experiencing this. I don't know how to stop it- yet. It will be a glorious day when I do!

I shake my head. No, I can't go back there! I won't!

I open my eyes and sigh in relief, I'm still here. I haven't left these jade tinted shower tiles, and for that, I'm grateful. I don't like being taken back to those moments. I don't like reliving deaths over and over and over again. I don't like reliving the pain and agony, feeling every ounce of despair and dread.