call me hopeless, not romantic; irwin

Chapter 9: Wishmaker

A/N: Hiya! Listen i owe all of you a massive apology. I haven't updated in ages but i'm unwell so here you go haha. 

I have recently been raising money for charity a whole load  and it's been time consuming so i'm sorry. And i know there are a lot of people just getting into this story and don't know that i'm really busy all the time so this is your warning, i'm a slow updater (and this chapter is not even worth it honestly)

So enjoy this shit chapter and thank you all for the overwhelming support :)

~amandajane

Ashton sauntered in the streets, his feelings clouded in his mind not unlike the skies above: dark, grey, miserable, but yet that one part of good in his life; Rhona. Taking a seat in the park he watched the little kids play, each one with a smile greater than the pacific ocean. It may sound strange but Ashton was never like that, he always stayed inside and kept himself to himself, reading Arthur Millers plays, novels by Susan Hill and watching movies Tim Burton directed. He was simple. Yet that all changed when he started to make friends, the one thing everyone told him to do actually destroyed him. He was no Blanche DuBois and 'depended on the kindness of strangers'- oh no- he depended on himself and kept a clear head.

But that was changing, thanks to a certain miss Rhona Edwards. Boggled and Bundled, Ashton's mind was all over the place. Her red hair, bright eyes and innocence. She seen the best in people unlike Ash, and thats the kind of person he needed.

So as he brings out his Journal he begins to write.

Fuck.Fuck.Fuck. She's a bastard cock sucker who...I need so much! It sickens me. She is nothing like me yet I feel, I'm destroying her. The drugs, the bad language, skipping school. That's how it starts, well, that is exactly how it started for me. I became a fuck up and I can see it in her eyes. One fucking week or so she has spent around me and BAM! She's changed. I ruin everyone and everything.

If you don't believe me then listen to this: Michael? Straight A's and B's, and perfect attendance, every parents dream child. Now? He dies his hair, is lucky to get a C on a really good day and was a fully fledged Christian: I mean church every Sunday and no protection- well, I mean he hasn't used a rubber ever so that was invalid but still! I fucked him up. Oh and Calum? He used to play classical music, not any of the pop punk/rock or whatever he does today. World champion in clarinet playing. And then there is Luke. I changed him most of all. I always say he is a dick but that's because he is Ashton Irwin 2.0. He used to be the 'nerd' in retrospect. I thought I was helping him y'know? But fuck I was wrong.

I see these children and I die a little inside. They all hold a youth and innocence I never got the chance to. Maybe I just grew up to fast. Or maybe...the world did.

A little kid tugged on Ashton's trouser leg making his snap over his journal and the little girl flinch. He looked down to see her eyes water.

'Oh shit' he mumbled. 'Shh, it's okay you just gave me a fright that's all.' He smiled reassuringly which made the girl smile and clap.

'Can you help me?' She asked shyly. ' I seem to have lost my mum. Can you help me?' She repeated her question and her eyes grew to be sad and desperate. This young girl looked like Rhona in a way. Her innocent fashion and face, ginger hair and smile.

'Okay, what does she look like?' Ashton knelt down and watched the girl contemplate as she tried to recollect her mothers image.

'She has brown hair and green eyes and smells like syrup.' she grabbed Ashton's hand, 'oh and my name is Abilene.' she smiled and led Ash astray.

'Where did you last see her sweetheart?'

'Near the swings.'

So off they went to the orange and crimson swings where little girls and boys enjoyed their childhood and would once tell their own kids that this was where they used to have fun, before the mortgages and debt. Before life truly happened.

'How did you lose your mum?' He asked, searching.

'I didn't lose her.' Abilene laughed and sat down on the swing. 'You looked lonely and I thought you could have used a friend.'

Ashton looked amazed at the little girls cunning nature.

'Y'know, you shouldn't talk to strangers.'

'And you should listen to your own advice' the smart arse girl laughed back while on the swing. She was smart. Like 'For Esme with Love and Squalor' smart. You know, that short story that's about the war? Anyway, she was no ordinary child.

'I wasn't lonely, I had my journal.' he waved the object infront of her to acknowledge she wasted his time.

'Writing is liberating, I understand, but so is socialising too.' then she started to wave her hand in dismissal, 'none of this BookFace or Twatter or Tremblr though' Ashton laughed and placed his journal under the swing. ' I mean proper conversation with an interesting human.'

That's when it struck him. He features were Rhona, but her personality? She was him. Like his journal speaking back to him.

'You are quite smart for a...'

'eight. I am eight years old.' fuck maybe she is Esme Ashton whispered to himself.

'You are incredibly smart for an eight year old.'

'Not all of us are inarticulate' she said as she played with her pig tails. 'Some are child genius' like me and you.' she laughed and Ashton looked at her oddly.

'You have just met me you don't know anything about me.' he huffed and she jumped off her swing.

'Well, that's my loss. You seem fantastic and... well another adjective I cannot be bothered to think of.' she skipped away lightly ' bye Ashton.' she laughed and met a woman on the other side.

'Wait!' Ashton hollered. 'how do you know my name?' the little girl turned around and smiled

 'Go see Rhona! She misses you.' Abilene lefft as nothing but a burning presence in Ashton's mind.

Everything is so fucked up.