I didn't want to leave the hospital. Niall had to physically lift me out of the seat beside my dad's bed to go get dinner.
The surgeon had said that everything had gone fine but they would have to do another MRI in the morning to make sure there was no other lasting damage to the vertebrae or nerves. Now we just had to wait for him to wake up. I needed to be there when he woke up.
It felt like forever before the anesthesia wore off and my dad began to wake up groaning.
"Jesus, did they give me the most uncomfortable bed on purpose?"
My mom was on the opposite side of the bed from me breathing a big sigh of relief.
"I need a cigarette, someone get my shoes."
"You're not going anywhere. I'll go get the doctor and let him know you're awake."
"Hey daddy." I said moving to the edge of his bed.
"Hey munchkin. What are you doing here?"
"Eh, just thought I'd come visit. Ya know, I love spending time in hospitals." I shrugged, what I really wanted to do was throw myself on him and not let go.
"Yeah, you've always been a bit weird." He joked.
I turned around to glare at Niall as he laughed behind me.
"Listen I know you like to just do whatever you want and not listen to the doctors, but I need you to. I need you for when I have Ryan and I need you to walk me down the aisle. So meds, physical therapy, do it all. And no thinking you can do more than you should and screwing your back up even more."
"Ryan? It's a boy, I thought it was too early to figure out what you're having."
"It is, were not finding out, but can you please acknowledge what I just said?"
"Yeah, I'll listen to the doctors. Why you calling it Ryan if you don't know."
"Because that's the name we picked for either sex."
"I like it. Now, where is your mom, I want to get out of here."
"Calm down Super Man, you're going to be in here for a few more days."
He hadn't asked about Nicky, and I wondered if he knew, or if he had just forgotten about it.
Mom came back in with the doctor and a nurse who quietly got to work checking IVs and the different machines.
"So, how are you feeling Mr. Murray?"
"Sore. I'm ready to leave and I need a cigarette."
"Alright, well...I can't get you a cigarette and you'll be in here for at least a few more days depending on how things look with the next MRI."
"I'm sure I'll be fine, there's no need to keep me."
"Dad, you promised."
He groaned and laid his head back before he huffed a quiet 'fine'.
"Alright, I'll go have them get something for the pain and I'll check on you later. Just press the call button if you need anything."
"Thanks. So how's Nicky?"
My mother and I exchanged looks, battling who would break the news.
"Nicky... didn't make it dad. Smoke inhalation...he was without his oxygen mask for too long."
I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the fresh round of tears fighting to break through.
"Damn it...how are Mike and Kelly?"
"We haven't talked to them...Sara said Mike was a wreck so I can only imagine how Kelly is..."
"He was just a rookie, he shouldn't have gone back in there."
My father wasn't the type of man that openly cried on front of people, so I could tell he was trying hard to hold it in.
"You guys should go get some food and go home for a while. I'll be fine here."
"We already got a hotel room, your parents were there waiting, they're on their way back over." My mom said sitting on the edge of his bed, holding his hand.
"Then you guys should go nap, I'm sure Munchkin and Niall are tired. You guys were probably out partying in Vegas last night. We watched the fight at the station, saw you guys right there in the front."
"We're fine."
"Han he's right, we should go back to the room for a little bit."
"I don't want leave you."
"I'll be fine Munchkin, promise. I need you to go back and find out if they made any sort of plans for Nicky, and get me an escape plan."
"Okay, I'll be back first thing in the morning." I said kissing his cheek before climbing off the bed.
Niall said goodbye to my parents as I gathered up our stuff to get to the hotel.
As soon as we got into the hall I heard my dad break down and my mother trying to comfort him. It was definitely going to be a long week.
***
After all the scans had come back clear of any other damage, and my father guilt tripping the staff, they had actually let him out a few days early so he could attend Nick's funeral, something I was positive wouldn't get to happen.
I flattened my dress over my growing bump and wiped my tears away again. Thank God for waterproof mascara.
"You okay babe?"
I nodded looking at Niall in the mirror.
"Thanks for coming with me. I know this is probably super weird..."
"It's fine. I wouldn't make you do this alone." He said kissing my shoulder and leading me out to meet my parents downstairs.
My dad was under strict instruction to use a wheel chair unless he was in the house and not doing any major walking until he started physical therapy. He wasn't very happy about it, but I gladly reminded him of his promise every time he whined about it.
The church was packed when we got there. All of the people we went to school with, the guys from the fire station and his family all packed in to say our final goodbyes.
We made our way to the section reserved for the fire department once Sara caught our attention and waved us over.
His parents greeted people at the front of the church by the casket.
I knew I should go up there and pay my respects like a decent human, but I couldn't move. It felt so...final, I didn't want to admit to myself he was gone.
Once we got closer to the front dad made mom stop pushing. He pushed himself up out of the wheel chair and grabbed the cane he had and slowly made his way to Kelly and Mike.
He hugged them both as the made a place for him to sit down. I couldn't hear what was being said, I gripped Niall's hand tighter as Kelly made her way over to me.
"Oh sweetheart, look at you." She cried pulling me to her.
"Hi Kelly... I'm so sorry..." I choked out.
"Shh. None of that, how far along are you?"
"15 weeks...oh this is Niall, my fiance."
"Hi Niall." She said hugging him. "My Nicky said good things about you after you came to the Father's Day cook out. He was glad she found someone to make her happy."
"I do my best. Your son seemed like a great guy."
"Thank you, he was. I better go, it looks like we're getting ready to start."
We all took our seats as the pastor started the service. I listened to his best friend get up and talk about how he was a hero and an amazing person. This wasn't anything I didn't know.
I loved Nicky. It wasn't the same way I loved Niall, but all the stuff they were saying was true. He was honest, and caring, and a hero. And there was no doubt that I would miss him.
