I didn't want to say goodbye to Niall. It was the last thing on Earth I wanted to do, but it was inevitable as I stood at the door.
"It's only two weeks and I'll be back, you'll barely realize I'm gone."
"Yes I will... who's gonna rub my back so I can go to sleep and you won't be here to sing to Ryan and I and you're gonna go have fun and I'm gonna be all alone." I sobbed.
"C'mere." He said pulling me to his chest. "You won't be alone, Lou is a phone call away and Harry's in London too so if you need anything call him. If you really need me I'll be on the first flight back."
"Promise."
"Pinky promise." He whispered kissing the top of my head.
"Make sure after Chicago you drop the gifts off in Indiana since they won't come until Ryan's here."
"I will. I need to go now."
I held onto him tighter until he pulled away and gave me one last kiss.
"I'll call you as soon as I land, 'kay? Love you Banana."
"Love you." I sniffled wiping my eyes.
I watched as the car disappeared from my view and took Niall away. The house seemed so big and empty when it was just me. Maybe I should get a puppy. I always wanted one, but my mom was convinced I would get bored with it and stop taking care of it.
I wandered (more like waddled) around the house looking for stuff to do. After washing all of Ryan's bedding, blankets, towels and the clothes that we were able to get and putting them away I decided to reorganize the kitchen.
Niall had everything so high and out of my reach, it was a pain in the ass to get to it. But as soon as I was surrounded by pots and pans and Tupperware containers all over the floor, I quickly realized what a mistake it was to do it all at once.
I wasn't even half way through when I heard the front door open and slam.
"Hey Salt, it's me!"
"In the kitchen." I called back and waited for her to make her way to me, Niall was definitely behind Lou's surprise visit.
"Did Niall send you? I don't need a babysitter, I'm fine by myself." I groaned, trying to get up off the floor.
"He didn't technically send me, but he happened to mention that you were all alone and Tom had Lux so I figured I'd pop by for some lunch."
"Mhm. Oh for the love of God, can you help me up? I'm like a beached whale!" I cried as Lou tried to contain her giggles.
"It's not nice to make fun of the fat pregnant chick." I grumbled making my way into the living room.
"I'm sorry love. Now, why on Earth did you clear out the cupboards?"
"Well all the pots and pans were so high so I figured I'd just rearrange. I already washed all of Ryan's clothes and cleaned the nursery. I'm so bored... maybe I should get a job. Oh! I could be like a receptionist at Bleach."
"You want to work at Bleach?"
"Yeah! I can answer phones and book appointments and wash hair...I can't just rely on Niall to take care of me. I didn't finished school and my grandparents money isn't going to last forever. I mean, obviously I can't right now, but after the baby is born..."
"Okay, well you talk to Niall and we can worry about that after the baby is here and you guys are settled."
"Okay... I'm just so bored by myself all day."
"Trust me love, once that little one is here you're not going to be bored."
"I guess you're right..."
"Of course I am. Now go change, we'll go get some lunch."
***
"So how have the shows been?"
"They're good. I mean it still feels weird being up there by meself, but it's fun. How are you feeling?"
"Fat. Tired. Bored. I think we should get a puppy."
"We're about to have a baby and you want a puppy?"
"Yeah, why not? We can get one that stays small. I always wanted a puppy... Ryan just kicked me so clearly that means he likes the idea. Oh and I wanna get a job." I said rubbing my stomach. I was laying on the bed Skyping Niall after his show.
"Jesus woman, you're doing me head in. How about we talk about all of this after Christmas."
"Fine. I miss you... only a week left."
"I miss you too...but I actually do need to talk to you about something. After the last show I need to go back to LA to put the finishing touches on the album."
"Seriously, how long are you staying?"
"Um, another week..."
"So you're going to be getting back the 21st? Who's going to help me decorate. You're parents are getting in the day after that."
"Actually I'll get in the same day." Before I could even say anything he cut me off. "But listen, if I finish it now it'll be done and then I can just focus on you and Ryan and they won't be bugging me to finish it. I know it's shitty timing but it'll be better this way, and hopefully I can get it done early so I can get home."
"You know this sucks right?"
"Yeah baby, I know I'm sorry."
"Did you at least look over the wedding invitations that she emailed us?"
"I did. I like the brown one that has a ribbon and a flower and the little pocket with cards that have the hotel and flight information."
"Good, that's the on I liked. I'll email her back in the morning... Should I wait to decorate or just get it done? The house looks sad and not Christmas-y."
"That's not a word, but if you want to decorate you can. You should have someone go with you to get a tree. You could probably just get a fake one so we can reuse it."
"Okay. I'm going back to sleep, call me when you wake up."
"I will, I love you. Call me if I need to come home."
"Okay. Love you too."
I shut the laptop down and put it on the bedside table before snuggling down into the comforter. I knew why he had to stay, and it made sense. Except I wanted him home with me. And not just so he could rub my back or sing to the baby and I. I just missed him and sleeping without him sucks.
I didn't want to read the stories about him going to dinner with Ellie Goulding so obviously that means he's cheating or he's left me because he wasn't my baby daddy. I mean where do they even come up with this stuff?
I wanted him here so we could have dinner together and watch a whole season of Shameless on Netflix in one night.
But I was alone for two more weeks and I was suddenly dreading him going on his own tour for months at a time because I don't know if I could do this on my own.
