Listen Lucky

53. Are You Awake?

I'm in the middle of an interview for @Nishsai_V for her book 'Writer's Revealed', so why don't you go check out the interviews that are already up there and save it to your library so you can see my interview when it is posted!

***

I couldn't sleep that night, it was like the memories of Will were playing in my head like a movie and I didn't want to stop listening. For once it was excitement keeping me awake, instead of fear. I should have felt scared. I should have been worrying that our friendship had been ruined and that things could not go back to the way they were, but I couldn't ignore the fluttering in my stomach that was yearning to be with Will.

Finally, at three in the morning I couldn't take the restlessness anymore and I decided to text him, to make sure he was as excited as I was. I couldn't ignore the nagging sensation that kept telling me he was going to go back on everything he had said, or that our whole friendship had been some elaborate scheme to set me up for a fall. I wanted to ease my active mind.

'Are you awake?' I sent him simply, hoping to not give any indication of my excessive, almost embarrassing, yearning for him.

A couple of minutes passed and I kept having to remind myself to calm down. Only a few minutes had passed and I was already over reacting. He was probably just asleep.

Horrible, malicious thoughts spiralled out of control in my mind and I chastised myself for feeling so strongly. What if he had changed his mind? What if he had finally realised I wasn't good enough for the Great Will Memory?

I lay stark awake till the sun rose, just listening to the quiet sounds outside. Dogs barking, birds chirping and a single car that passed through our quiet little neighbourhood.

***

"You look like death this morning," Emma informed me as I closed my locker door. She was right, I was dead on my feet.

"You don't look so hot yourself," I told her, noticing her puffy red eyes, she had clearly been up all night crying. "Did you get any sleep at all?" I asked through concern.

"A few hours maybe," she shrugged unconvincingly. "You?" I distantly heard her.

I was too busy scanning the hallways, looking for the boy who had kept me up all night - and not in a good way.

At first I believed I was just over reacting, but he hadn't shown up to take Willow and I to school, like he did every morning. It seemed he genuinely had changed his mind and couldn't bare to see me. Every time the door opened and it wasn't him, my heart broke a little bit more.

"Malia?" Emma's voice pulled me from my toxic thoughts. "I asked if you got any sleep?" she repeated.

"A few hours," I lied, more like a few minutes.

"Any news on Peter?" I asked, guilt racking over me as I realised that I had spent all my time concentrating on Will and had barely thought about Peter.

"No. He still hasn't woken up and there's nothing they can do unless a pair of lungs turn up," she rolled her eyes angrily. I knew the anger would come eventually, it always did with Emma.

"Remember what I said about thinking positively?"

***

By the time the end of school came around I was angry. My emotions had evolved just like Emma's had. It was fine if he had changed his mind and decided he could do better, but he should at least have had the decency to tell me to my face. He hadn't shown up to school at all and was ignoring everyone's texts. He was going to such extreme lengths to ignore me and quite frankly, I'd had enough.