Preface: the story

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it began.

it began

with you.

you crawled into

that dark space in

the center of my heart

so softly

so gently

as though I had crafted it

just for you.

moved all of my history 

into a dusty corner

to make room for you.

you moved in

as though you knew

you would fit perfectly.

and you did.

what art we made

in perfect harmony.

what love we made

in perfect synchrony.


but.

like all earthly things

(which, I must admit,

I doubt you are)

it came to a close.

my heart refused to see

your darkness

until it was too late.

I succumbed to

months 

of indecision.

months

of heartache.

months

of torment.

until finally.

finally.

I had the last word.

my past arrived from 

that dusty little corner

and provided my heart shelter.

alone,

I created an ocean

to flood you out of

my heart.

my mind.

my soul.


and then.

I had just settled.

just tucked away my grief.

when he arrived.

how easily I transformed

that space 

from green to red.

from you to him.

and all of the times you lingered.

all of the times I thought 

you were gone for good.

you would creep back in

with bare feet tapping on my skull.

I just kept slowly and smoothly

replacing

thoughts of you

with

thoughts of him.

it was safer, I thought,

than drowning.

he kept me afloat

much more than I admit.


I knew.

I knew it would end.

somewhere deep inside

that space where I kept him

felt it

long before it happened.

but this time was

different.

there was no ocean

to drown myself in.

no flood

to wash you out.

and so I stood up.

I dusted that empty space.

I brushed off my bare bones.

and.

I moved forward.


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