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You proposed to me then.

We were steadily progressing

along this silly little thing

called love.

It was with a ring pop

in your car

(before you spray painted it purple)

after we danced the rhythms together

for the first time.

My heart said yes

and so my mouth said 

yes, I do

while my gut said no

and my soul screamed

no, please don't

so at two in the morning

you held my hair back

as I cradled the toilet bowl

like the child I knew

we would never actually have.

I think this is the night I knew.

The night I really knew

I had mistaken

soul friend

for

soul mate.

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