How To Save A Life

Chapter 24

"Juniper I think you should talk to Sean. He's called every day since the funeral. He's really worried about you." 

I can hear my mom talking, but I don't pay attention to her. She's been trying to get me to talk to Sean for days, but I don't want to talk to Sean. Well that's not true. I really want to talk to Sean, he's the only person I want to talk to. But if I talk to him I'll spill the truth and he'll hate me. And if I lose him I'll have nothing left. 

"Juniper you can't keep ignoring him. Or me. At least come downstairs. You haven't left your room in days."

She's wrong. I went to the bathroom this morning.

"Well if you're aren't gonna listen to me then I guess I'll just leave." 

That's the last thing I hear before I drift off to sleep. 

I spend the next few days drifting in and out of sleep, eating mostly cereal. My mom doesn't know that I sneak into the kitchen at night and grab a box every time I run out. Or maybe she just doesn't mention it. 

Sean continues to call, but I never answer. Sometimes my mom answers to give him an update on how I'm doing. I can't imagine the conversations last very long considering my state hasn't changed in days. She once caught me sneaking into the bathroom, that must have made for exciting conversation. 

Every time the phone rings my resistance weakens, I just want to talk to him, but I know I can't. He'll never forgive me. I'll never forgive myself.

 So I don't answer. I don't talk to him. I just lay in bed and sleep.

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I'm not sure how many days have passed when I wake up to find Sean laying next to me. I'm not sure how he got into my room, I started locking it after my mom got on my nerves. 

His arms are around me and I don't know how to get out of them without waking him up, but I know if I don't I'll never leave. I try my best to carefully get out of them, but despite my best efforts he still wakes up. 

"June, you're up." He mumbles, still half asleep.

"How did you get in here?" 

"You're mom let me in."

"No, how did you get in my room?"

"You're mom let me in here too. She has a key."

"You need to leave. I don't want to see you." 

"You want me here. If you didn't you wouldn't have sanitized."

I hadn't even realized I'd done it, but as I look at my still wet hands I realize he's right. I must have sanitized without thinking about it, my body's natural reaction to a lie.

"Okay fine, I do want to see you. But I can't talk to you." I admit.

"Why can't you talk to me? June you can talk to me about anything."

"No I can't. Not about this. Not about Mavis."

"She sent me a letter. I got it the day before the funeral. You should read it."

"I don't want to read it."

"Then I'll read it to you." He insisted.

"Don't. I don't want to hear it."

"Dear Sean, I'll be gone soon if I'm not already. Doing this was the hardest thing I've ever done. I know it's going to break Juniper, I know she'll blame herself and push everyone away. I know June like the back of my hand. But I also know she'll be okay. Not at first, but eventually. The only reason I know this is because of you. I thank you in advance for taking care of June, cause I know she'll need someone to take of her. She deserves to have someone take care of her, nobody ever has before. And I know that person will be you. I can see it when you're around her, you're never leaving her. Tell Juniper I love her and that she needs to stop blaming herself. Thank you for everything Sean, if you end up with my sister then know you have my blessing."

"I told you not to read it."

"See I think she might have been a little ahead of herself thinking we'll get married and giving me her blessing, but I definitely agree with her that you need to stop blaming yourself. I may not know you as well as Mavis did, but I know you well enough to know that you blame yourself."

"Of course I blame myself. I wasn't here to save her. I could have saved her."

"June you don't know if you could have saved her or not. Mavis was in a really bad place."

"She's my sister. I could have saved her. I could have spent more time with her."

"Maybe you could have. Or maybe no amount of time you spent with her could save her. We'll never know June. But I can tell you one thing June: You saved me. You saved my life. I was in a bad place when you met me, just like Mavis was a month ago, and you saved me. When I met you that day in the doctor's office I knew I had to keep going back, it was my only chance at seeing you again. So if that's not enough for you, if you'd rather have your sister back and me gone, I understand. I can't say I wouldn't feel the same way if I were you. But you should know that I thank God for you everyday because you're the greatest thing that ever happened to me. And losing you're sister, that's not something anyone should go through, but I want to help you move on. I want to do whatever you need me to do to make you happy again. I'll do anything June. I love you."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't think of anything to say. I never knew he got that bad and I certainly didn't know I was the one who got it out of it. His mother told me he'd progressed since he met me, but I didn't realize how much. And he loved me. The only other person who ever loved me was Mavis. 

"You love me."

"I do."

"I love you too."

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It's done! the story is done. I thought about writing a epilogue and if you guys really don't think the ending was enough or if you still have questions, I'm not against writing a epilogue. But this is the ending I had planned so let me know what you think. Please vote and comment to let me know you're thoughts on this chapter and the book in general! I'll probably go back and do editing if I get bored but other than the possible epilogue nothing more will be added to the story. Thanks fro reading and sticking with me through the writing of this book!