Afterglow (BWWM)

Chapter 16 - Warning 18 y/o and older only

The walk home was a long one.

I mentally kicked myself for wearing the slip of a shirt Drew borrowed from my roommate's closet. I was literally frozen by the time I finally arrived at my empty apartment. I walked inside and shut myself in with the darkness. The darkened space reflected how I felt and, yet, I was able to see clearer than ever. I realized that my showdown with Drew had been inevitable. I should have seen it coming and prevented it. Instead, I chose to remain oblivious and now I was deathly afraid that I'd lost everything by gambling on the wrong guy.

I slid down to the floor, exhausted like something knocked the wind out of me. People who knew me thought I was smart when, in reality, I was painfully stupid. Stupid and out of control.

I jumped when a loud bang sounded at my back like something rammed into the door.

What the hell?

It happened again and again, a consistent pounding. I got up from the floor, and without bothering to check, yanked the door open. I didn't need this shit tonight.

Drew breezed right past me, striding into my apartment without a word. I had to do a double-take. Did he just roll up in my place like he lived here?

My heart lurched at the sight of him, which pissed me off. I closed the door behind him. We stood across from each other in the narrow hall leading to my living room. I didn't turn on the lights. Why bother when he wouldn't be staying long?

"What are you doing here?" I said.

He leaned up against the wall and put his hands in his pockets. "You were drinking tonight. I had to be sure you were okay. I'd never forgive myself if something happened to you because you walked home alone."

I folded my arms. "What do you care?"

"Don't be stupid, of course I care."

There goes that word again. Apparently, I didn't know how to be anything else.

"As you can see, I'm safe and sound. You can leave with a clear conscience. "

He just looked at me. "I also came by to say I'm sorry for being a jerk. I lashed out at you and you didn't deserve that."

My brows drew together. Why was he dragging this out? I thought we said all there was to say. He wasn't here just to apologize and make sure I was okay. It was obvious, even to someone as naive as I was. So what was he after? His eyes studied mine in the dark. I looked away, suddenly uncomfortable.

"Why are you apologizing? You were finally being honest for once," I said.

"You know that's not true. I made some mistakes, but I've been honest with you from the start about what matters."

"So you get to decide what matters?"

He huffed impatiently. "I didn't come here to fight with you."

"Then why are you here? You already apologized outside and you obviously know I got home okay since followed me to my apartment. So what else do you want?"

I missed him move because I wasn't looking. I didn't see him step toward me, his hands reached up to cup my face. "Do you really want to know? I don't think you do. Because deep down you already know and you're scared to admit it."

"Drew, let me go." I pushed at him. It was as effective as trying to move a giant boulder.

"I know I should. If I could, I'd walk out right now. My life would be less stressful without you in it." He caressed my cheek with his thumb. "But I can't let go. I haven't gotten what I came for yet."