Afterglow (BWWM)

Chapter 18

"Ready for tonight?" Lindsay asked.

I was dripping wet, straight out the shower, staring at my closet with dread while Lindsay looked on from the doorway. It hadn't been easy getting her to forgive me for what happened in the bathroom yesterday. I went straight to her room to talk as soon as I got home, knowing she would give me a hard time. The way I saw it, I had two choices. Stay confined to my bedroom so I didn't have to deal with Lindsay giving me the silent treatment and hateful glances for the next few weeks or just letting her yell at me for a day. The choice was easy. I'd rather take the heat now than drag this out and potentially do irreparable damage to our friendship. Agreeing to do the dishes for a week and buy Lindsay bubble tea from her favorite spot was a small price to pay for peace. Lindsay was all I had. I couldn't lose her.

I reached into my closet, swiping frantically through the hangers. "I just did laundry. How can I still have nothing to wear?" 

Lindsay moved to stand beside me. "You know you have nothing to worry about right? Drew already got the goodies and he still wants to get to know you. Do you realize how crazy that is?"

Oh, I knew. Nobody knew how insane this whole thing was better than me because I was the one living through it. 

"Crazy? No, Lindsay, this goes beyond crazy. Nothing makes sense anymore. I've known Drew almost as long as I've known you and all of a sudden now he's into me? Every time I think I have him figured out, he switches up on me," I said, going on a mini anxiety-fueled tirade. "I just don't get him. The guy I asked to help me was supposed to only care about having fun. He wasn't supposed to want something serious. He was supposed to be ... " I struggled with the words.

 "Supposed to be what?" Lindsay urged.

"Uncomplicated," I sighed. I met Lindsay's stare. "How could I have gotten it so wrong?"

"Did you ever think maybe you got it right? Drew is great and so are you. I don't see why you're treating this like a problem."

"Of course you don't. You've never been in love. Don't get me wrong, I think Drew's a great guy, too, but I had a vision. Am I supposed to forget about Brandon and move on with some other guy because he likes me instead? I can't just pretend my feelings for Brandon never existed. And even if I could, Brandon will always be a shadow over my relationship with Drew."

"Ally, I haven't heard you sigh over Brandon in weeks. Weeks! I can't even remember a time when that didn't happen. You don't get all choked up when you talk about him anymore, either. I wouldn't be surprised if you're already over Brandon and didn't even know it." 

That made me pause. I remembered all too well what I was like around Brandon and Lindsay was right. The days of me drooling over the quarterback were long gone. Even my dreams of our future together had begun to fade. I had no doubt that was Drew's doing. 

"I can't deny that Drew has had an effect on me. But why did he wait until now to make his move? After all this time? After I tell him I'm interested in someone else? Am I crazy for thinking this came out of nowhere?"

Lindsay contemplated it for about half a second. "Nope, you're not crazy," she said. "Drew's obsession with you has thrown everyone on campus for a loop. But that doesn't mean his feelings aren't genuine. You guys were spending a lot of time together getting hot and heavy, it's not far-fetched that he'd be into you." 

I went to sit on the bed with my hands in my lap. Lindsay sat down beside me.

"Starting a relationship with someone new can be nerve-wracking and unpredictable, especially with someone as high-profile as Drew. I can see why you're worried. The thing is, I'm concerned that maybe you're self-sabotaging and looking an excuse to keep going after Brandon."