"You good?" I hear Kevin's small voice from the doorway of the room Sam and Dean had earlier forced me into. I nod once, shrugging lightly.
"Yeah," I respond lifting up my book and showing him I was occupied. "trying to catch up on my reading."
"OK." Kevin nods and looks stuck, as if wanting to say something but not being able to quite get it out. He stood awkwardly and I gave him a moment before speaking up.
"Kevin?" He looks up immediately. "Everything OK?" He shakes his head vigorously.
"Of course, I just uh," His hand wandered to the back of his neck. "are you sure you're OK?" I nod, my brows furrowing. "It's just, Sam and Dean are really worried about you and-"
"Don't worry 'bout it Kevin." I insist. "It's going to be over soon."
"What do you mean?" He asks in a worried tone, a look of suspicion ironed itself onto his face.
"They'll find a way to help me." I tell him and of course, that's not at all what I was thinking. He nods finally.
"I'll let you rest then." He says and turns slowly, walking away.
What am I really thinking? I can't be saved. I won't be saved. I will cause more pain then any of this is worth. If I saw correctly, I killed Charlie. Heck, I almost killed Sam, Dean and Castiel in the process. What is left for me to do here? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.
I hauled out the black pen I had earlier hidden and begin writing over the text in the book. It wasn't horribly hard to read considering my hand writing was neat, but some words took a few seconds to decipher.
I guess this was my note...that's what people do, isn't it? They write notes?
"Scar?" I hear Sam ask from the doorway and I try to make it look like I'm reading as Sam approaches, taking just one step. "Charlie's dead."
I can't say I was exactly surprised but my mouth went dry, my heart nearly stopped and my stomach dropped. I bit into my cheek and nodded my head a couple times trying to say something but I couldn't. My eyes watered but I blinked the tears away.
"OK." I say quietly.
"I'm sorry." he tells me, walking in a few steps.
"OK." I say again, unsure of how to respond.
"It wasn't your fault."
"That doesn't make me feel any more then a coward. I ran."
"He told you to, and you didn't at first. Scarlett nobody is going to blame you for trying." Sam says sitting down at the end of the bed. "What else happened?"
"Nothing really." I say honestly. "They beat into us, forced demon blood down my throat and I ran. I shouldn't have but I did."
"You should have ran when he first told you to." Sam says, staring at the wall opposite of me.
"No, I should have died there." It spills out of my mouth before I realize it and Sam's head snaps to me.
"Don't say stuff like that." He tells me sadly. "You may think so but do you know how much it will hurt me? If you die, what do I have to live for?" I glare at him shaking my head in disbelief.
"Dean. If I die you have to stay alive for Dean." I tell him strictly.
"Then you have to promise to stay alive for me." He says. I shake my head, biting down on my lip. "Scarlett,"
"I can't do that." My voice quivers as I say that to him. We both sit in silence before I finally start speaking. "When you left, I got a lot worse. That next day I bedridden, barely able to stand. Then I could barely stand up. My physical instability affected me in way it shouldn't have, for some reason I thought we were going to win this war. Then the demons came and," I stop, staring at my hands. Sam grabs my hand in his gently.
"It's OK." He tells me and I exhale deeply.
"I feel good now." I tell him ashamed. "After I had the demon blood, I thought I was going to die but the pain was my body building itself back up. I feel better then I have in awhile right now." I feel a tear roll down my cheek and I drop his hand to wipe it away. "I feel revolting, Sam."
"Do you even get how strong you are?" Sam asks me. I scoff, looking away. "I'm serious Scarlett. Nobody, and I mean nobody can go threw years of torture and come out as together as you are right now. You are far from revolting. You are an inspiration." I was about to reply to Sam when the whole room shook. Sam got to his feet immediately and looked around.
"Sam?"
"Stay here," he tells me, walking out.
"Sam!" I call after him and throw the bed sheets off of me, putting my feet on the cold floor.
I stumbled as soon as my legs were forced to carry the rest of my body but soon got my balance. I made it out into where Kevin did all his translations when he caught my eye. Crowley.
"Scarlett! You seem to be well." I put on a brave front, staring him down as he stood before the four of us.
And suddenly, like a wave pool, memories came crashing back against my skull. It wasn't much, but it was something.
"You see, I learn from the best." Meg tells me. I nod once, watching her attentively as she simply squeezes her hand, not making a fist but as if she were squeezing an imaginary ball. Out of nowhere, the man standing before both of us buckles over, blood begins to spill from his mouth and Meg smiled at me.
"That's all I have to do?" I clarify. She nods once.
"Just make your intentions clear." She tells me and the man is still buckled over in pain. I look up to her and she nods giving me the go.
I take a deep breath, staring at him before finally, I do the same hand movement Meg had earlier done. The man drops to his knees now, holding his stomach and head until Meg's hand swing onto my shoulder.
"OK that's enough." She tells me and I drop my hand realizing that the man is close to dead now. "We can't have him go and die, now can we?"
"What are you here for?" I snarl, biting the inside of my cheek.
"You." He says simply.
"That isn't going to happen." Dean pipes up and I look at him from the corner of my eye before it finally clicks. I raise my hand staring deeply at Crowley as I make my intentions clear. I want him to feel pain. I want him to know how bad it is. I want him to know what it's like to suffer. Not a second later he was practically throwing up blood.
He dropped to his knees and held his stomach.
"What are you," he sputters. "you shouldn't know, how," he could barely finish in between coughs and blood spewing from his mouth.
"Scarlett," I hear Sam to my right and as my eyes directed towards him he flew back into the nearest wall.
"Sam!" Dean yells my eyes flicked towards him having the same affect.
From behind me, water hit the back of my neck. No sting but I knew it was holy water. I drop my hand and Crowley gasped for air and desperation as I turned to meet Kevin. He stood promptly a few feet away, holding a water gun in his hand. His face was filled with fear.
Instead of bringing him an harm, I ignored knowing that it wasn't worth the effort.
Then, I heard Sam struggle. His words stung like knives and I glanced slowly in his direction. "What are you?" He asks paining. I take a deep breath.
What was I?
It could be answered simply, but the answer is something I didn't know.
"I'm sorry Sam."
*A/N* I know it's a short chapter and that I haven't updated in a gajillion years but believe it or not, I have a life outside the internet. I mean, I stayed up until 2:00am for you guys. I have to get up in like, three and a half hours. So you're welcome.
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Flightless Bird (Supernatural Fanfiction)
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