Flightless Bird (Supernatural Fanfiction)

We Need to Talk about Hell (7)

I was lying on my back when footsteps trotted up and down the hallway at least 3 times. I stayed completely still before there was a loud knock on my door. I sat up and hauled the comforter off the bed with me as I walked hesitantly to the door. My nearly bare skin was wrapped in the warmth of the blanket as I creaked it open.

"Hey," Dean smiles as I peered my head around the door, hiding the rest of my body. "we made breakfast." I nod once. "Do you want any?" He asks.

"I'll be down in a minute," I say threw a husky voice.

"Did you get any sleep last night?" He wonders, examining what he could see. I shake my head. "You don't have to come down, it was just a suggestion, you know, if you were hungry."

"I'll be down in a minute." I repeat and close the door. I walk away from the door and throw myself onto the bed, taking a deep breath. I finally get the strength to sit up and get dressed. I haul on a pair of black leggings and a baggy sweater that the boys got me last year for Christmas. It was black and had a white silhouette of a bird on the sleeve. It was my favourite.

I opened the door and walked sluggishly down the hall. It was chilly and pretty dark. Outside, it was foggy and a dark shade of blue. On top of that, patters of rain. It made me feel sluggish and empty.
I walked into the kitchen to see Sam and Dean seated at a nice table, Charlie was serving breakfast.

"Good morning sleeping beauty," Charlie smiles, walking in front of me to get to Dean's place, laying a plate in front of him. On the table was basically every breakfast food that came to mind; pancakes, waffles, bacon, eggs, English muffins, toast, the whole works.

"Morning." I murmur through a tired voice and sit next to Dean. I push a lock of bed head out of my face and to my surprise, I wasn't hungry at all. Actually, I was still abnormally tired.

"Hey," I hear Sam's voice from across the table. I try to focus on him but my vision begins to falter. "Scar, are you OK?" I grab the edge of the table before I feel Dean's hand on my back and with that, I'm falling for the floor.

*

I opened myself up to reality and peeked out my eye lids. I still couldn't quite see straight but I came to awareness of how much my body hurt. I looked to my left and Sam was staring at me, saying something. I hadn't quite checked into my hearing yet and everything was struggle. And I couldn't breath. I gasped but oxygen wouldn't be in taken.

Finally, I could hear, "Scarlett you need to breath!" And with the last gasp I had in me, I could finally draw a breath. My body slumped against the bed I was lying in and I was panting. With dreary eyes I saw Charlie leaning over me. "Scarlett," He said concerned.

"What's up," I say weakly and I could hear the boys scoff. Charlie chuckles and relaxes. I took in my surroundings and I was back in the bedroom that Charlie had given me.

"You took quite a spill." He informs me.

"I figured, you know, cause I'm not scarfing down any pancakes." He laughs again and takes my hand, helping me sit up. I look around at the boys, all concerned but trying their best to hide it. "I'm sorry, I worried you guys."

"Don't apologize," Dean strictly replies. "you can't control that."

"Yeah," I say in a defeating sigh.

"Scarlett, I've come to a conclusion. About your being ill, weak, the possessions." Charlie tells me seriously. "It took a lot of research and a lot more experimenting, but I get what's going on."

"Please, don't hold back." I respond anxiously.

"And you didn't tell us?" Dean snaps at Charlie.

"Dean," Sam scolds.

"I just wanted to let you all know at the same time." Charlie responds. Dean nods once and then keeps his lips pressed into a thin line. Charlie pulls a chair towards my bed and takes a seat, looking at me with a cramped look pressed onto his face.

"I can handle whatever you throw my way." I assure him. "I'm gonna be OK." I sell to them all, but I felt weak. Drained. It was like everything the boys and I had worked for up to this point was gone. Without a trace. I had lost it all, and I was losing myself along with it.
I was a legacy.
I wasn't supposed to live to this day.
I was supposed to be the story Sam told his kids about, the story of how he saved the world but didn't get the girl, and that it doesn't always work out that way.
I should have died when Crowley had done it.
Now, in this moment, I wish I had.

"In the blood test that I had conducted yesterday," He reminds me. "I found demon blood." I feel the glare of them all, but I don't dare return it. I stare blankly at Charlie.

"I, I didn't-"

"No, I know." Charlie cuts me off. "It was pre-administered, prior to you recovering her from Hell." He looks to the boys now. "My conclusion put in the simplest way possible: she was Crowley's experiment. He was planning on using her as a weapon and erasing her memories of it. That plan succeeded. She very nearly took you boys out." Charlie tells Sam and Dean seriously.

"Hey, take an easy," Dean warns him. "it's not her fault."

"That's not what I'm saying at all." Charlie replies genuinely. "What I am saying is that, she is a danger. To us, and to herself. What Crowley did to her, no, what they did to her, she's part demon."

My face felt heated. My eyes burned.
I blinked furiously and kept trying to find something to stare at. Something to offer me a resolution. Of course that wasn't going to happen.

"So what are you going to do?" I ask him dreadfully. My voice weak. I look at Charlie sadly. "Kill me?"

"Scarlett," He says pitiful.

"If you don't, some other hunter will. We know that, don't we Sam?" I look to Sam and he looked guilty as hell. I shake my head and looked up at the ceiling trying to shake the feeling of hopelessness and the burning in my eyes.

"This isn't the same thing." Dean tells me.

"Isn't it though?" I reply, looking at Dean. "Once they find out I'm a threat, they are going to come by the dozens."

"They'll understand."

"No, they won't. I killed 15-"

"Scarlett you didn't-"

"innocent people! There were kids!" I snap spitting venom in my words. "There were little boys and girls no higher then my waist...there bodies were battered and bloodied and I did that. I'm a monster!"

"Scarlett you're not a monster!" Dean fights with me.

"Oh that's right, I'm a weapon! Isn't that what you said? A weapon?" I look to Charlie who is staring at me sadly. I look away and throw the covers off of me.

Charlie stands, trying to help me but I push him away and walk bare footed up to Dean. I look up to him and we share a long stare.

"Look into my eyes." I demand. He does. "They are black. Not green. I knew that was a sign, when Castiel tried to fix me. When he checked for a soul." I look down at my feet. "When I told you, that first time, that I was perfectly fine...I knew I wasn't. I am as far from fine as it gets."

"Charlie's going to help you." Dean assures me. I look away from him but he takes my face, turning it towards him again. "You will be able to say I'm fine, and mean it."

"And if he can't fix me, you boys have to promise me something." I tell him, looking to Sam now as well. he was standing and nods for me to continue. "You'll kill me."

"No," Sam says immediately. I look to him.

"It's not up for debate." I reply.

"You're right, because we aren't going to kill you because we have to fight for you." Sam tells me. I shake my head.

"No, Sam. If you don't, another hunter will." I say strictly. "Or another demon."

"Why are you so eager to give up on life, Scar?" Dean asks me. "My dad told me that if I couldn't save Sam, that I would have to kill him. Don't you say that exact same thing to me." His eyes glistened with tears. "I won't do that. I would never do that." He mutters before pulling me into a hug. "You're family. You, me, Sam, Cas and even Kevin. Family doesn't end with blood." He lets go of me and I nod.

"Bobby said that to you?"

"Yeah." Dean nods.

"Scarlett," Charlie says and I turn, casting my attention to him. "I've got a treatment plan. We'll start this evening. Get some rest." He tells me and opens the door, walking out of the room. I look back up to Dean and he nods.

"You need the rest." He complies, putting a hand on my shoulder before walking past me and out the door. I turn and Sam and I were left alone. And once he left, I would be completely alone. The empty room beckoning and taunting. I would be left with my thoughts and my taunting memories.
Our gazes lock before he tries to make his escape out of the bedroom just for me to stop him.

"Sam," I say as he gets to the doorway. He looks back to me, exactingly. "uhm, do you...do you wanna stay?" I wonder curiously. He ponders the idea for only a second before nodding.

"I would like that."

*

The next 3 days went as followed; Charlie's treatment, spending time with Sam and Dean, reading and a whole lot of sleeping. Charlie was doing a lot of extracting blood and other DNA samples while trying to work the demon blood out of my body. It was passing, slowly but surely. I felt it. Every growing day I was weaker, more exhausted. I took 2 hour naps at least twice a day. I was always falling asleep. I can't run. I can't really do much.
I try to make dinner but even that proves to be a struggle...and the boys see it, they see it very clearly. Despite all of this, I felt...better. I didn't feel so helpless...I didn't feel so dejected.

"Scarlett?" There's a knock on my bedroom door. I look up from my book as the door creeks open and Charlie is standing there. "How are you feeling?" He asks me.

"Good." I tell him honestly. "Tired, but good." He smiles.

"Can we talk? In the kitchen?" He asks. I set my book down and nod.

"Of course." I reply, throwing the covers off my legs and walking towards the door. He walks in front of me and down the corridor, past the living area and into the kitchen. Sam and Dean were standing in the kitchen, looking like they had a stick up their ass.

"We need to talk." Dean tells me. I glance over to Charlie then back to Dean, nodding.

"Sure." I agree, leaning against the wall. "What about?"

"Kevin called us." Sam spits out. "He's got the translation of the second trial."

"Well that's great." I say, straightening up. "Right?"

"We have to leave immediately." Dean tells me.

"OK, what's the problem?"

"Scar, we aren't going to leave you." Sam replies. I shrug.

"Of course you are. Guys, closing the gates of hell is a whole lot more important then simply, 'being there for me'. You can't just wait things out here. It's only a matter of time before the demons come knocking. You have bigger priorities. I'm OK. Charlie is great, he's going to take good care of me." The boys look at each other worry stricken.

"If it's any consolation, I'm not going to often let her out of my sight." Charlie tells them. "Closing the gates of hell is big, boys. It's going to un-complicate a lot of stuff."

"But we can't abandon her," Sam objects.

"I'm not thinking of it like that, Sam. Just come back when you can." I tell him. He still had a worried look ironed onto his face when Dean breaks the silence.

"Let's start packing." he decides. Sam shoots a look but Dean was already turned and walking for his room.

*

I had a blanket draped over my shoulders to keep myself a little warm. Sam and Dean were putting their bags in the trunk, organizing it all so it was easily accessible. I watched sadly and Charlie stood next to me.

"Feeling down?" He asks. I nod.

"I know what has to be done though." I respond. "I'm proud."

"You're not the only one. John, Mary, Bobby, all of them were so proud of you three." Charlie tells me. He was between 10 and 20 years older then me and boy was he wise. He wasn't old like Bobby, only in his early forties maybe...but he had so much knowledge. It was incredible.

"We didn't do much,"

"Yes, I suppose you're right." He agrees.  "You only saved the world,"

"That was Sam,"

"That was all of you, and Castiel too." He responds and I stay quiet now, just continuing to watch the boys.

Sam closes the trunk and they both turn towards me. They looked sad if anything. Sam reluctant as I recall the earlier fight he had with Dean about leaving. I had stood outside his door and listened to the whole thing. He really didn't want to leave me...and he seemed convinced I could die if he left. Possible yes. Not something I wanted to think about even though less then a week ago I thought that was my only way out. Of course, who is to say it isn't?

"We'll hit the road then," Dean tells us, "we should get back to Kevin in a couple days. We'll be doing check ups on you two. Might even send Cas over a couple times." I nod.

"Of course." I reply. "Now give me a hug you brute." He smile, wrapping his arms around my upper back. We stayed in each others embrace for a few seconds before he let go and looked to Charlie.

"Take care of her for us." He says sternly. Charlie nods.

"I will." He assures him. Dean bows his head and steps out of Sam's way, giving him the spotlight.

"Be carefull," Sam says, "and please don't get hurt. I'm going to be back as soon as I can get back."

"OK,"

"OK,"

We are quiet for a minute before he pulls me into a big hug. I wrap my arms around my neck and I'm barely touching the ground. My toes touch but Sam is very nearly lifting me into his warm arms. I sigh after a moment and let go.

"Be safe,"

"OK,"

With that, I walked to the impala with the boys. Dean sat in the drivers side and Sam took passenger. As soon as he was seated he rolled the window down.

"I'll miss you." He states sadly, looking down at the ground. I bend down a little so we are face to face and do the unthinkable.
The thing I promised myself I wouldn't do.
Yeah, I kissed him.
So it was only a peck? I still did it. I knew I couldn't hold back for long and I don't know if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

"Bye Sam. Bye Dean."

"Bye Scar,"

"Bye Scarlett,"

After their farewells, Sam looks forward and I step away from the impala a few feet, enough for Dean to pull out.
And he did.
And I worried that that was the last time I would ever see him.