"And i think there are people you're always willing to go back to, for you were made from the same colliding clusters of stars. There are parts of you that are parts of them as well -and that's what keeps pulling you back in- like gravity."
It follo...
"loving you is like being ten years old again, scaling a tree with my eyes bright and skyward, wanting only to get higher and higher without a thought of how i would get back down"
🎵: i know you care - Ellie Goulding
*Alex's POV*
It's been two days since the almost kiss happened; two days without an explanation or at least a sign of what it could mean. Without a pause of my stranded thoughts.
In my mind, that day was a new hope, it could even be a second fate for us and after the hug he gave me on Christmas Day -tight and warm, almost reassuring- i caught myself daydreaming about what we could have been if we had gotten together years ago...or even now...but then i woke up.
I spent another night at Ethan's thinking that things might finally clear up but i was wrong. He kept texting Hayley all the time, so i decided to check his phone to find this:
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And of course Ethan responded with a shirtless pic.
I knew that my anger was unreasonable cause they are going out a week now, but why in the world would he make a move on me? Why? It's not like i wasn't already wrecked before, he just had to give me fake hopes just like he once did.
After he was out with her for half the day we were supposed to spend together and me picking up a gift for his slu-girlfriend?! He finally noticed i was pissed at him but that didn't stop him from inviting me to his room and cuddling me.
I tried to be okay with it, i really did but once i was in his arms, i could sense the difference. He didn't smell like himself, he smelled like her, and that disgusted me.
Every inch of me wanted him to hold me tight and tell me that i'm not crazy; he wanted us to kiss, he likes me, he sees something in me cause i do... i'm not paranoid...
i needed him so much..but he wasn't mine and i wasn't supposed to be there.
My cravings were forbidden and i had to accept that.
I stood up and walked away to sleep in the guest room as that's what i felt like. A simple guest and nothing more.
I felt nothing but betrayal from his side cause i've been through this before.
The pain is familiar.
The same pain i experienced when i was 13 after i had my first kiss.
*4 years ago at Alex's house*
"Are you sure he's not breathing?" I started panicking while examining what was in front of me
"It-it's just a hamster how could it breathe? It's been in the pool for half an hour" Ethan's face was red, tears were rolling down his cheeks
"It's all on me, i let him out of his cage... i'm so sorry Eth" my vision became blurry and i got closer to him, wipping away his tears
"No, no it's my fault i killed him Alex" his voice cracked "..i killed him" i hate my sight more than anything. It's too much for my heart to see Ethan that broke...
