sleep // styles {au}

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I never thought that I would be telling someone about what is actually going on with me. Harry had is back pressed up against the headboard of my bed with his arms folded across his chest. I sat cross legged in front of Harry trying to figure out how to explain what’s going on without making me sound crazy.

                “Spit it out already Jess.” Harry spat, obviously tired of waiting for me to start talking.

                “Ok, so you have to promise that you will not think I’m crazy and need to go to an asylum after I tell you this ok?” I looked into Harry’s green eyes and watched as he nodded his head. “Alright, so this all started when I was younger. My family was literally perfect, my father had an awesome job at an architect and my mother was a stay at home mom to me and my older sister. I was seven when my mother fell ill, well my father couldn’t handle it so he became a raging alcoholic, which caused him to become abusive. I was his only victim because I was the one always defending my mom and sister.” I took a second to collect my thoughts. Harry hand a large hand through his unruly curls that were falling on his forehead. “Well, my dad left us a few months after I turned nine. I have no clue where he went, but I honestly couldn’t give two shits about him. Ok anyway, after my father left I started to have these bad dreams, I would wake up crying every night, and it wasn’t just one time. These dreams got worse over the years. I started to hear voices when I turned thirteen. The voices were always telling me to do bad things to myself, like I don’t know drown myself in the bath tub.”

                Harry’s mouth dropped when I let that slip. I was starting to reject telling him about this. “So you tried to kill yourself before? Why on earth would you do that Jess?” Concern filled Harry’s eyes, but I could no longer look at him.

                “It wasn’t just one time. I have been attempting suicide since I was fifteen. I can no longer take the voices telling me that I’m a worthless piece of shit. The day that you first met me was two weeks after I tried to drown myself. These voices are driving me insane and I don’t want to live like this anymore. I haven’t slept in almost a year. I’ll get a few minutes here and there but it doesn’t last for long. Want to know why I asked you to come over last night? I closed my eyes for a few seconds and woke up screaming. Right there,” I pointed to where the shadow stood last night and Harry looked, “a black shadow stood at the bottom of my bed. I never had seen a shadow before, so I was a first. It talked to me and told me that it was going to finish me off.”

                I had to stop talking because I had finally broke. My hands cradled my face and I sobbed heavily in front of Harry. The bed dipped near my legs and my body was lifted from the bed and placed on Harry’s lap. I burrowed my face into Harry’s tattooed chest and continued to cry. His large hand ran through my hair as a comforting gesture.

                “You’re the first person I told Harry. Please don’t tell anyone or think I’m crazy.” My voice was barely a whisper. I couldn’t stop my body from shaking when Harry shushed me and ran a hand down my back.

                “You don’t have to worry about being finished off you know why? Because I’m going to make sure you stay here with me. I will never leave your side Jessica, I promise.” Harry peeled me from his chest and stared into my eyes. Leaning in, Harry pressed his plump lips to mine, not giving me a chance to react but I kissed back instantly. Pulling away Harry laid his head on my chest.

                “I promise Jess, I will help you sleep.”

[HAHA OMG WHAT JUST HAPPENED? I HAVE NO CLUE BUT HARRY MAKES MY HEART MELT MERP! Anyway, please vote and leave some feedback with a comment! Love ya!!!]