The Moment I Knew (A Farewell, My Love Fanfiction)

Letters From The Dead

London had not spoken at all.

The rest of tour was postponed so everyone could be there for London in his time of need.

It was the day of the funeral.

"Babe, here's that black tie." Laila said as she walked to him in her black dress.

She did his tie as she looked into his sorrow filled eyes.

"Can you please talk to me?" She was very worried about him.

His eyes started to tear up again, and she gave him a hug as he hugged her back with his face in her shoulder.

They left for the cemetery without a word.

(An hour and a half later)

The service was just as beautiful as Dana was.

London and Laila were just about to leave, when London heard his name being called.

London turned to see Dana's father walking toward them.

"Hey, after we got back from the hospital, we found this on her desk."

He said as he handed London a white envelope with his name on it.

"She also had this." He said, but this time he handed something to Laila.

It was another white envelope but this one said: To The Girl That Will Capture London's Heart.

"London, you go ahead to the car." Laila said.

After London left, Laila turned back to the other man.

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Mr.?"

"Sinclair. But please, call me Willam."

"I'm so sorry for your loss, Willam. Yeah, London hasn't spoken since he found out and I'm concerned. Hopefully the letter will help. And why did Dana write me a letter?"

"Honestly, I don't know why she did. I thought they would be together forever! But I guess depression kicked in hard, and she broke up with him."

"Ok. Well, once again, I'm so sorry for your loss. It was nice meeting you!" Laila said as she shook the mans hand.

Laila left and walked to the car and noticed London wasn't there.

"London?" Laila yelled out.

No answer and she walked and called out until she found a dock and him sitting on it, crying.

"London." Laila said as she sat beside him.

He was reading his letter.

Once he was done, he handed it to Laila.

My dearest London,

I'm so sorry that you have to read this. Honestly, I wasn't going to write it. I kept thinking of you while contemplating my demise. I remember our pact. Friends until the very end. Who knew it was sooner rather than later? I didn't until now. I want you to understand that it's not your fault. YOU did not fail me, I failed you! I accepted the promise. I told you nothing like this would ever happen again. Please, please, please don't feel like this third attempt is your fault. I remember that time in Freshman year you came with me to the doctor after my rape and I found out I was pregnant. You wanted to kill the guy who got me pregnant because he was far away and wouldn't have any part of the baby's life. I wanted to get rid of it, but you refused. You said you would help me raise it. Even though it was early, we were able (by blood test) to determine the gender: your wish came true to have a Daddy's little girl! We even came up with her name, Paris Lynn Mckuffey. When 18 weeks came along, I knew something was wrong. So we made an appointment. But when the doctor did the ultrasound, he couldn't find her heartbeat. We then knew our little girl was gone. That's when my first attempt happened. You had gone to the store and I wanted to be in a different place. Since my parents were away at a convention, I was home alone. So I took my razor to both my wrists, and before long I was out. I thought I was done, but you rescued me from my darkest days. You had called the ambulance that day and I was saved. And for that, I will forever be grateful. Then the incident in Junior year happened. I felt so alone, even though I wasn't. Those kids talking their hurtful words were too much for me. When I was in the hospital, my parents told me you had suicidal thoughts too. I wanted you to stay. But how could I be so selfish about myself when you were going through it too. And then you joined the band. I was excited, but I knew they would take most of your time. That's why I broke up with you. It's not your fault I made this my last suicide attempt, it's theirs.

Forever and Always,
Dana

"Oh, London. Why didn't you tell me?" Laila asked.

No answer.

"Seriously? I know Dana just died, but you can't keep everything in. It's not healthy."

London looked at her and for the first time in three days he said, "Because you remind me of her."

"Really, because of my story?"

He nodded.

Laila scooted over and sat on his lap.

She put her arms around his neck then kissed his lips.

After a few seconds she pulled away and said, "I absolutely promise I will never be like her. My past may be shitty, but I love you the most. Paris would've had an amazing Daddy, and my son/daughter would've had an amazing stepdad."

"Laila?"

"Yes, London?"

"What does your letter say?"

"Oh, I almost forgot!"

Laila grabbed her purse and got the envelope out. She pulled out a sheet of paper and began reading aloud.

To The Girl Who Will Capture London's heart,

London is a keeper. He will never leave your side. He will love you unconditionally. Trust me, I know. Whenever you're down, he'll be there to lift you up. He'll make you laugh. I'm sorry I had to write that letter to him. Since I know London, he probably showed you the letter. I know what you're thinking, Paris would've loved to have met her Daddy. Even though he's not her biological parent, he wouldn't have treated her any differently. That's what I love about him. When given a tough situation, he rises to the occasion. Don't ever let him forget that. Tell him you love him every time you get the chance. (DO NOT READ THIS PART ALOUD: Keep him from a relapse. If he does, never let him think he failed you. It'll make him go back to not talking. Yes, he has done this before. He closes himself off and won't talk. My first attempt, I told him that and I regretted it. I apologized, but three more days passed until he spoke. Give him his space whenever this happens. Let him come to you.)

Dana

Laila looked at London who was crying again.

She gave him another kiss and said, "I'll go to the car. Join me whenever you're ready."

As soon as she got up and started walking, she heard footsteps. She turned to see London following her.

"Ready?" She asked.

He nodded.

They walked hand in hand to the car. Laila's head on his shoulder. Dana was right, he is a keeper.