Still Water

Chapter 2

When I was five I attended my great aunts funeral. I didn't know her very well, and I didnt miss her very much. Everyone dressed in all black, my favorite color. Everyone was crying, and at the time I didn't really understand why. It couldn't be that bad loosing someone, could it?

I was so beyond wrong.

It turns out Phil wasn't waking up because he wasn't meant to. His mom told me he accidentally got water in his lungs, and he couldn't breath.

It was my fault though. I lead him to the water. I lead him through the woods, where we weren't supposed to be.

My mom never yelled at me for being in the woods against her orders, I guess she assumed I learned my lesson, and believe me, I did.

My face was tight with dry tears, but over the past few days it's a feeling I had grown used to. My mother has left plates and plates of food in my room, piling up as I refuse to eat them. She got me a really nice black suit.

Tonight was phils funeral.

I understood now why people cry at funerals. I understand it's hard to have your best friend there one day and gone the next. I understand now what it's like to have no shoulder to cry on.

Who's dan without Phil?

Eventually I slipped on the uncomfortable suit which brought an unliking to an elegant color such as black. I picked up the blue flowers I picked out earlier today when my mom took me out of the house to the store for the first time since Phil died.

I picked blue flowers because blue was his favorite color.

Mrs. Lester had told me that if I would like to make a speech about Phil, then I could. I'd probably be weird making a speech seeing as im very young, but I agreed nonetheless.

When I arrived I suddenly felt like I was suffocating. The air was cold, my suit was tight, my palms were sweaty. My eyes teared up and dried in my face many times without my even noticing.

"Dan, honey, would you like to go give him your flower?" My mum asked in a gentle voice. I nodded gravely in response.

My feet were heavy as I lugged my way up to the casket. His skin was paler then it ever was, if possible. His eyes closed delicately, with no rise and fall of his chest.

I gingerly set the blue flowers on his chest, and watched as my tears soaked his suit jacket. From the inside pocket of my jacket I pulled out a paper crown from a Christmas cracker.

Last Christmas i won this crown against Phil in opening the cracker. He said he wanted the crown, but I told him no because I won it. I kept it in my room, with no intention of ever needing it.

"Im sorry I never gave this to you. I should have. I was selfish," i whispered, whilst placing the paper crown delicately on his cold head, "you'll always be my prince. I love you"

I wiped away a few tears and walked away.

Later during the ceremony I was called up by Mrs. Lester to speak. I pulled out my paper where I planned all I was going to say.

"A best friend is just like having a brother. You are always there for each other, and sometimes at each other's necks. No relationship is all happy like in the story books. It was the same with phil, and I. I knew he was there for me when I needed him, and I knew he liked all the things I liked when no one else did. We didn't fight often, but we did sometimes. It was always stupid things, and I wish i could take them back, but i can't. And even if I could I don't think I would because without our dumb fights I wouldn't have appreciated the good times as much. We used to play Mario kart a lot, and make dumb bets, and i would usually win. Sometimes I'd let him win when he started to look upset. I really liked those times with him. There isn't another Phil in the world like him, and there shouldn't be. He was different, in a good way. I hope he's happy where ever he is now, because he deserves it. I'll never know someone like him again."

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Hey would you look at that, it seems everyone's gotten free tickets to ride the feels train! Im so sorry! Are you liking it despite the fact that im crushing hearts and taking names?

-Madi