Beat Still

Chapter 21: Beat Still

Over 1k reads???!!!! I'm literally crying you guys....I love you.

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*Louis' Pov (At Lunch)*

I couldn't take it anymore. I had been avoiding my problems for long enough and I needed to talk to my best mates. I knew they'd understand and forgive me. They always do.

I know I'm a fuck up, but I swear when it comes to Marcy I try hard not to be. I really love him. I've loved him since before he even liked me. I've loved him for years. I loved him as soon as I laid eyes on him.

So why would you fuck it all up? Ugh, shut up mind. I just...I couldn't handle getting everything I wanted so suddenly.

When I woke up on that boat that day and saw my lovely Marcel laying next to me I could only think about how I would eventually hurt him and ruin everything. So I left before I could...

Which now I see as really stupid logic. I basically ruined our relationship now, so that I wouldn't ruin it later...And to do that I had to stay away from everyone. That included Harry, Leeroy, and Niall.

I had to try to get Marcel out of my system in any way possible. But none of it worked. He was a drug that nothing and no one else could fill. I should've known considering I've been in love with him since I met him.

I remember it like it was yesterday. We were just kids...but he was so mature. Much more mature then even me, and I was older.

He told corny jokes, corrected my grammar, and needed a puff from his inhaler every five minutes during hide and seek. I was hooked then. And I'm hooked now.

As I sat at the table with the boys, I could see how much they all hated me. Besides Leeroy who just looked sad, they all obviously wanted to murder me. Which I guess is justified, but they havn't let me explain yet!

Now my only defense mechanism is coming out. Sarcasm, jokes, and sass.

"I don't have to tell you shit Liam." I growled while grabbing another chip from Lee's plate.

"Then tell me. Tell me why you did this Louis. Tell me why you hurt Marcel, the boy who's never hurt anyone. Or even just why you did this to me? Your 'brother'. Just say something...anything."

My eyes darted to Harry's beautiful face. (Ew not like that! He just looks like my Marcy remember? Twins?!) The once angry boy just looked broken now. His voice cracked as he spoke the words.

I could feel my armor cracking as I stared at my best friend. I had been so selfish. I knew I'd be hurting Marcel, but I thought it would help him in the long run.

But Harry? I had no reason to hurt him. The same with Leeroy, Niall, and even Liam.

Before I could completely break down and just cry all over the table, I gently spoke directly to my best mate.

"This isn't the time for this. We'll talk later Harry." When I stood to leave, someone drug me roughly back to the table.

"Just be a fucking man for once, and don't run from your problems! God dammit Louis, you're such a prick." Niall yelled right into my face.

I had no right to be angry, but I was. I was angry because he was right. I ran from Marcel and I was running now.

I pushed Niall back down in his seat and ran out of the cafe. I knew I'd get it for that one later. I didn't even mean to push him, I just had to get out of there.

As I ran I could feel my lungs constrict. Am I having a panic attack or something? Why the fuck can't I breathe?!

I stopped by the lockers and rested my head against the cool wall, trying to get my breathing back to normal.