Beat Still

Chapter 26: Beat Still

Happy New Year you guyyyys!

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*His Pov*

2 Months Ago

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From that moment we were inseparable. Nothing but holding hands during class, lunch dates, and spending the night in each other's dorm room. We literally havn't been apart for a month.

Honestly I don't know how this has been so normal for me. I'm not gay. Never liked a dude in my life. But there is something about Marcel that's just... different.

There was something that attracted me from the first moment I saw him, and hasn't changed since. I know we've only been dating for a month but I'm sure I love him. And I plan on showing him tonight. By giving him all of me.

"Bro, are you coming to Sara's party tonight?"

"Hey Ezra, yeah Marcel and I are going."

My room mate stopped fiddling with his phone and suddenly jumped onto the end of my bed staring up at me.

"Speaking of Marcel, where is he?" Ezra grabbed my notebook from my lap and flipped through the many drawings of my lovely boyfriend.

I snatched it back before answering, sending him a glare for snooping,

"His dorm. He went to get more clothes."

He nodded his head in understanding, then suddenly gave me a suspicious look before hopping off the bed and wiping his hands over his clothes in disgust.

"What's wrong with you idiot?" I rolled my eyes at his dramatics and continued to sketch yet another drawing of Marcel. I just couldn't get those perfect eyes right!

"Have you two..." He gestured towards the bed and raised an eyebrow.

"Have we what?" I nervously ran my hand through my hair and inspected my masterpiece. So far so good.

"Have you two fucked on that bed?" If I had water in my mouth I would have surely spit it out.

Instead I choked on the invisible substance that was stuck in my throat and threw my sketch pad across the bed.

"Why would you ask that?! No, we havn't had sex yet! Jesus!"

I threw my hands up and went to our mini fridge for a bottle of water. Hopefully I would be able to drink it and not spit it all over myself.

"I just wanted to make sure there were no man juices on my clothes, is all." he shrugged his shoulders as if it was the most normal thing to say to your roommate. "So you guys really havn't had sex yet?"

I shook my head in response, and returned to my bed. Not that I would tell him if we did.

"That's weird. If I were Marcel I would feel insecure."

"What? Why should he feel insecure?" I should just ignore everything Ezra's saying but for some reason I entertain it.

I mean I know he doesn't feel insecure with me. I treat him like the prince he is, so why would he ever feel that way?

"Isn't it obvious, mate? You havn't tried anything after a month of dating! And you've slept in the same bed every single night. It's weird!"

Hm. As much as I hate to admit it, dumbo has a point. I'll never admit that to him though. I thought I was being a gentlemen and waiting for a special moment. But what if instead I was confusing my boyfriend?

In all honesty, I wasn't just waiting for Marcel's sake. I was scared. No, terrified. No, fucking petrified of being with a guy for the first time. Even if it is with Marcel, the only dude I've ever liked as more than a...well, dude.

But what if I do it wrong? What if I hurt him? What if it's awful and I turn out to be straight?

I don't know what will happen. But what I do know is that I'm at least willing to try. For my Mar-mar.

"Well, I was going to take him somewhere private at the party and see if he was ready..."

"There you go! I'm sure he will be. At least someone is going to get some action around here."

He palmed his...area sadly and flopped back unto his own bed. I just shook my head in laughter and returned to my drawing.

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"Come on baby, just one drink!" I shouted over the loud music.

The fast paced techno music was making my head pound harshly. Or maybe that was the 2 beers, 8 shots, and 3 cups of mystery liquid I choked down trying to feel comfortable with my plans.

I was so nervous about tonight that I hadn't stopped drinking since we got here. I just want to show Marcel how much I care about him through the most intimate way possible: making love.

But by the way my brain is spinning, I'm not sure if my head will be between his legs or in the toilet. Sorry, that was gross.

"I said no, God I already had a beer and I don't want to get drunk." I could barely hear him over the music and the pounding in my ears.

He looked so beautiful tonight. I loved him in his comfortable clothes. Although I've never seen him with no gel in his hair. I bet that would be- wait, I'm getting off topic here.

I know I'm drunk off my ass but I want nothing more than to kiss him right now, and make him feel good.

I leant forward, stifling a hiccup, and kissed his pout. When he didn't kiss back I whined into his mouth and moved to his neck, sucking on his vain gently.

"Let's go upstairs?" I purred, my mouth still on his warm neck. He grabbed my shoulders and moved me off of him.

"I'm not ready for that right now, stop trying to pressure me into doing stuff! We have only been dating for like a month..." All of a sudden he shouted in my face, causing me to wince slightly.

Why was he so mad? What had I done? I just wanted to please him. Doesn't he know that this is new for me too?

I had never been romantic with a guy, let alone wanted to suck his dick so this is scary for me too.

I could feel all of the liquor cloud my head, and I no longer felt anything else but nausea and rage.

"God Marcel, I'm so sick of this innocent act! I can have any guy or girl I want for that matter! I chose you! And all I ask for in return is that you, oh I don't know, fucking touch me every once in a while?!"

His eyes widened after I finished my rant, and so did mine.

Neither of us could believe that I had just said that. Suddenly I didn't feel so drunk. In fact, I felt sober as hell. And with my sobriety came a tidal wave of guilt.

"Mar-mar I..." he ran from the party and my life.