Only for you

Prologue

“The problem isn't finding out where you are gonna go-its figuring out what you are gonna do once you get there that is!” ( Walk to Remember)

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Prologue

The Sun was setting in the sky. The open space showed the masterpiece of God's canvas. The beautiful mixture of the colours were enough to sway the strength of a man and to succumb him to the beauty of it. The colours were painted with a paintbrush, each stroke having its own meaning and its own importance.

“The sky grew darker, painted blue on blue, one stroke at a time, into deeper and deeper shades of night".

They say that it is the sky that has the answes to everything. Every pain, every suffering, every joy and every confusion. When a lost man looks at the sky for the answers that he seeks, he is never disappointed. They are the fastest way for a man to communicate with God.

And so I looked at it too, to the blue sky with strokes of green and yellow, to the setting Sun that will rise again the next day, to the day that I make a headfast start to.

The car was swaying gently and in the front seat, my aunt and uncle sat together, their hands interwined. Their open display of love is what I wasn't unfamiliar with, but still it unsettled me somehow. My ipod began singing a new tune into my ears as my eyes were focused on the now darker sky.

I wanna be drunk when I wake up

On the right side of the wrong bed

I hummed to myself in silence, my eyes closed, trying to drain the feeling of insecurity and fear that was building up inside me. Every feeling inside us comes for a reason, these feelings too had a reason. To tell the truth, I am no star girl trying to make a high school romance story in my life- I am just a normal girl, cut that, I am " Below average" normal. I used to be the lowest in the popularity chain in my previous schools and I know this wasn't going to be that much different.

Maybe I'll get drunk again

I'll be drunk again

I'll be drunk again

To feel a little love.

I was never like this. When I still had my family, I was ... normal. Seems like that is a thing that can only be past to me.

I had everything that a girl of my age can have and can possibly want. I had parents that cared for and loved me. I had good grades at school and girls who wanted to be like me and girls whom I wanted to be like. I had issues that need to solve and problems that was slowly shaping the real me.

But did it remain? Did it last? Or did it end and crumble into pieces?

No, no and yes.

It was on 17th June my birthday in 2005 when I was nine that it happened. The biggest turning point of my so called perfect life took place then. I had spent my birthday in my grandma's house and my family was driving back to London. On the way a storm hit the land, and as it grew louder and the sky darker, I was huddled up in my mother's lap in my back sit while my uncle & father sitting in the front. My father was driving the four wheeler.

Suddenly I heard and felt the tyres screeching, the cars skidding along the highway, flashlights burning my eyes and before I knew it, I felt a tremendous pressure from my mother's side and I had blacked out.

And it was the same sky that I was gazing at then, somehow knowing that my life was going to take a new track. And it is the same sky that I gaze at today.