A WALK WITH GOD

Part 7: Depression/First...Heartache...?

It's another school year, and we are now graduating students. I have done the best that I could, and I have tried very to achieve happiness in my life, even with no friends. Without Ella. (A/N: Aww..) To clear things out for you, I have no connection with Ella anymore. She changed her phone number, studied in a different section, had a new set of friends, and sadly, forgot every single thing about me. I was left alone. I have no friends, have high grades, and even have depression. Such stuff kills me. Truth hits me to the core.

Bullies continued to rise against me. It kills me. I could hear their hurtful words as if I wasn't there. I can't show them my tears, 'coz if I did, the more they would judge me.

This incident lasted for the whole school year. There are a lot of times when I just hoped to be a mist. There are times when I just hoped to disappear. Guilt, anger, and revenge filled my heart. I ended up rebelling against my parents. I lost hope in friendship. I lost my faith in God. But despite of all these, I'm grateful to Him that I still have Ezra and Maiah, my friends since fourth grade, who never left me.

I became a hypocrite in church since last year. 'Till now, I play church. I play instruments, sing as if I don't have any problems, talk as if my life is still Godly.

But on the other side, I was even angry at God for everything that has happened. I blamed Him as if I did not do anything wrong. I do church stuff as an obligation. I talk to people about Godly things but have never applied a single thing in my life. No one knew about my private life.
My hypocritical life. Not even my parents. Not a single soul knew it happened. No one even knew that

I

am

a

lesbian.

No one should know that. No one.

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Hi guys 😂 sorry for updating for so long 😅 I was so busy in school 😕 I hope you like this story